[Mac Hiavellian]

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - Man plays with food.

Jaws (1974) - Man vs shark: a battle of the minds.

Blade Runner (1982) - Man hunts 'replicants', fascinated by a lady replicant.

Transformers (2007) - I paid money to watch machines with ethos crash and burn thus creating pathos. Instead I got Shia Lebouf try and bone Megan Fox.

Harry Potter and the Philospoher's Stone (2001) - Annoying brats tackle a dark lord.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - Annoying brats return, joined by an annoying elf.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) - After 2 *cough - 5* years of maturing somewhat, annoying brats are annoying again. This this time they're hormonal and petty. Meanwhile annoying adults are in denial.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) - Annoying brats sit around and wait for the next film.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010) Annoying brats go searching - but they don't know what for. Idiots.

Star Wars/Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope (1977) - Man is told he's a space monk and must rescue a princess.

The Emprie Strikes Back/Star Wars Episode 5: The Emprie Strikes Back (1980) - Space monk realises Darth Vader isn't dead, meets a green puppet and learns a shattering but camp secret.

Return of the Jedi/Star Wars Episode 6: Returns of the Jedi (1983) - Little furry things run amock and somehow destroy an evil empire using sticks and stones with the help of Space Monk.

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999) - A little boy is told he is powerful while some space monks fight a mute martial artist and an orange creature ruins an already overrated franchise with offensively racist undertones

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (2002) - The little boy grows up to become an arrogant space monk. Some sh!t about cloning. The grene puppet from earlier films is now in CGI - he kicks ass. All is a joke.

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (2005) - Arrogant space monk gets jiggy with his secret wife, has premonitions she will die, becomes Darth Vader, screams "NOOOOOOOOO!" - quite camp. The earlier films you know and love/love to hate are born.

The Dark Knight (2008) - doesn't suck but it is overrated compared to Batman Begins. A clown goes through many elaborate and beyond belief stunts just to corrupt a DA's mind.

Spider-Man 2 (2004) - Geeky superhero teen feels guilty conscience over his uncle's death in first film, his aunt becomes bankrupt, his love - an annoying wet diva. Some guy gets mechanical tentacles and somehow develops a split personality.

Spider-Man 3 (2007) - Geeky superhero teen learns his uncle was killed by someone else - making the whole guilty conscience plot of the previous movie redundant. Three different villains; the under-used, the over-used and, the used-and-abused.

Halloween (1978) - Boogie man stalks random babysitters with no motive. His motive is then revealed in sequel but it sucks.

Toy Story 2 (1999) - Cowboy doll is abducted by geeky man. Lacks the originality of first film and not as grand as the third.

The Matrix (1999) - Hacker learns he's a messiah, must free humanity from slavery in the 1990s for a post-appocalyptic Sentinel-warzone. Go figure.

That'll do for now