[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jords

Able yes but I think there is likely to have less connection between child and parents and also Ive read its less safe for a baby if they are born from an older mother.

Im definitely not saying its wrong or anything, but it has its problems like teenage mums do just in a different way.

The only concern I'd have about a 40 year old having a baby is there's a higher risk something would be wrong with the baby, other than that none. Definitely not that they'll have less of a connection, a mother is a mother, not a buddy.

Originally Posted by Ninastar

yeah exactly. I used to think it was way better to have a baby at this age, but that was so niave of me. At 40 you've experienced so much more, you understand people, you've most likely worked for half your life. You likely live in your own home. Most importantly you are likely to have a job/career and money to spend on your children.

get out

Yeah, I agree.

[Jords]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

The only concern I'd have about a 40 year old having a baby is there's a higher risk something would be wrong with the baby, other than that none. Definitely not that they'll have less of a connection, a mother is a mother, not a buddy.

Connection isnt always on a buddy level... but I also think its good if your close to your parents like that (not going gigging, or to a party rave or anything like that... but simple things like chilling or going for a drink and enjoying the time).

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jords

Connection isnt always on a buddy level... but I also think its good if your close to your parents like that (not going gigging, or to a party rave or anything like that... but simple things like chilling or going for a drink and enjoying the time).

Of course, but why would you think a 40 year old couldn't do that?

[Jords]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Of course, but why would you think a 40 year old couldn't do that?

They wont be 40 when the child is say 18, theyd be 58 and Im not saying they cant but its just limiting on what interests you can share. Whereas a young parent would have much more in common with you (theyd only be 38 when youre 18 if they had you at 20). Its just about being more relatable.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jords

They wont be 40 when the child is say 18, theyd be 58 and Im not saying they cant but its just limiting on what interests you can share. Whereas a young parent would have much more in common with you (theyd only be 38 when youre 18 if they had you at 20). Its just about being more relatable.

I don't think having a kid over 40 is ideal either but my mother is 58 and she goes out more than I do I understand what you're saying but if you have had built a decent relationship with your kids as they're growing up, then you'll always be able to relate to them no matter what age you are. It's not much good being close in age if your relationship doesn't have good foundations. (not saying that all younger parents won't have good foundations of course)

[Jords]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't think having a kid over 40 is ideal either but my mother is 58 and she goes out more than I do I understand what you're saying but if you have had built a decent relationship with your kids as they're growing up, then you'll always be able to relate to them no matter what age you are. It's not much good being close in age if your relationship doesn't have good foundations. (not saying that all younger parents won't have good foundations of course)

Yepp I agree and Im just speaking in general thats how I perceive it to be when comparing young and older parents

[Ammi]

I met my OH when I was very, very young. Our families didn't really think we would last as we were so young and we could easily have had a child in our teens to prove we were 'grown ups' and prove them wrong. We didn't, we were together about 14 years before we had our first child, we spent time just enjoying each other and travelling. I wonder if some teenagers do have children to get people to take them seriously and prove they are grown ups. The problem is, it's not until years later you realise how 'un' grown up you were when you were a teenager.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't think having a kid over 40 is ideal either but my mother is 58 and she goes out more than I do I understand what you're saying but if you have had built a decent relationship with your kids as they're growing up, then you'll always be able to relate to them no matter what age you are. It's not much good being close in age if your relationship doesn't have good foundations. (not saying that all younger parents won't have good foundations of course)

My mum is about 50 and I'm no lightweight but her and her mates can drink me and my mates under the table

But I think its really important to not blur boundaries between parents and friends. They should be your friends but only to an extent.

Originally Posted by Ammi

I met my OH when I was very, very young. Our families didn't really think we would last as we were so young and we could easily have had a child in our teens to prove we were 'grown ups' and prove them wrong. We didn't, we were together about 14 years before we had our first child, we spent time just enjoying each other and travelling. I wonder if some teenagers do have children to get people to take them seriously and prove they are grown ups. The problem is, it's not until years later you realise how 'un' grown up you were when you were a teenager.

Its not really the same because I'm not a teenager, but at 22 you could probably stick me in the same bracket to an extent. I'm a new parent (still feels weird saying that!!) but its nothing to do with being taken seriously, it just happened and we went with it. I'm sure thats the same for a lot of others too but I think to an extent a baby is an accessory for some.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Tom

My mum is about 50 and I'm no lightweight but her and her mates can drink me and my mates under the table

But I think its really important to not blur boundaries between parents and friends. They should be your friends but only to an extent.

Yeah, absolutely agree with that.

Originally Posted by Tom

Its not really the same because I'm not a teenager, but at 22 you could probably stick me in the same bracket to an extent. I'm a new parent (still feels weird saying that!!) but its nothing to do with being taken seriously, it just happened and we went with it. I'm sure thats the same for a lot of others too but I think to an extent a baby is an accessory for some.

22 is a world away from 16 though at the same time! I was 21 when I had my daughter, she wasn't planned and a bit older would have been better but at the same time I think she made me pull myself together and sort my life out. I felt much more capable when I had my son at 25.