[Me. I Am Salman]

in all seriousness no
I want my pre-summer 2013 life back

[Josy]

Originally Posted by Nathan

Well sort of Josy, watched a homeless documentary the other night that made me a bit more aware of how better off I am, but I am still restless

Yes that really does put things into perspective doesn't it

You know what I do whenever I'm feeling low, I always think about that woman that got her face ripped off by a chimpanzee.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Josy

Yes that really does put things into perspective doesn't it

You know what I do whenever I'm feeling low, I always think about that woman that got her face ripped off by a chimpanzee.

Is that an Alan Partridge quote?

[Josy]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Is that an Alan Partridge quote?

[Kizzy]

Aw bless her, she's great

[lostalex]

Some people put their efforts into changing themselves thinking it will bring them contentment.

Some people put their efforts into trying to be content in what they already are.

I'm not sure which is the better strategy.

I don't believe anyone is truly content though. Everyone is either trying to be something different, or trying to accept who they already are.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

Some people put their efforts into changing themselves thinking it will bring them contentment.

Some people put their efforts into trying to be content in what they already are.

I'm not sure which is the better strategy.

I don't believe anyone is truly content though. Everyone is either trying to be something different, or trying to accept who they already are.

..I guess that's true Alex, in that there it's not so often that someone is 'content' with every area of their lives but I do think that has a lot to do with perspective as well because if someone is fairly much content and positive overall, they kind of don't really notice those areas of 'discontent'...but if they're feeling fairly negative/down etc about things, they become more aware of them..?...

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..I guess that's true Alex, in that there it's not so often that someone is 'content' with every area of their lives but I do think that has a lot to do with perspective as well because if someone is fairly much content and positive overall, they kind of don't really notice those areas of 'discontent'...but if they're feeling fairly negative/down etc about things, they become more aware of them..?...

well that's true, that's the ignorance is bliss argument right? like i'm sure retarded people are "content". because they don't know any better, they don't have any aspirations. I think a lot of people see retarded people being happy, and wish they could just enjoy the moment, and not feel that pressure to be something more. I know i do.

We see children and retarded people able to enjoy life on such a basic level. I think we all wish we could enjoy life on such a basic level. But we don't have that luxury, able-bodied adults have a greater responsibility so that children can just enjoy life.

It does seem like childhood is the best time in life, and unfortunately we were too stupid to really appreciate it.
In life, the more you learn, the more you know, the more you realize, you realize how little you know, and how little everyone else knows, and how utterly ****ing clueless we are as a species.

we all wish to be children again.

[Marsh.]

It's a vicious cycle. You spend the majority of your younger years wanting to be older, then when your older and can be independent you yearn for your childhood back.

The grass is always greener.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

well that's true, that's the ignorance is bliss argument right? like i'm sure retarded people are "content". because they don't know any better, they don't have any aspirations. I think a lot of people see retarded people being happy, and wish they could just enjoy the moment, and not feel that pressure to be something more. I know i do.

We see children and retarded people able to enjoy life on such a basic level. I think we all wish we could enjoy life on such a basic level. But we don't have that luxury, able-bodied adults have a greater responsibility so that children can just enjoy life.

It does seem like childhood is the best time in life, and unfortunately we were too stupid to really appreciate it.

It's really a cruel joke that childhood is the happiest we will ever be, but we are too ignorant to really appreciate it when we are children.

...in a way that's true and certainly, children don't generally have the stress and worries that adults do but I do think they do have lots of stuff that they worry about, just not the same stuff as us and they don't worry in the same way...sometimes they worry about what we might think are the silliest/smallest of things and we would say, oh you silly sausage/we can fix that...but for them, those worries are just as huge as ones we have because they're as real to them as ours are to us...in some ways, more so because they don't have the capabilities to understand them and reason them..but in other ways, less so because their minds/thoughts don't rush forward to start 'crossing bridges' that might never happen, like we do....LOL, I'm confusing myself...t'is early, Alex....but yeah, I think it's probably because I work with children who are quite 'discontent'....

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by 08marsh

It's a vicious cycle. You spend the majority of your younger years wanting to be older, then when your older and can be independent you yearn for your childhood back.

The grass is always greener.

...hmmm, I'm not sure that I've ever been at a stage in my life when I've wanted to be younger, Marsh...it's not that I haven't enjoyed each stage/age but I've never 'yearned' for them back again...

[lostalex]

If i could do it all again, knowing what i know now... things would be so different.


That's what we all say.

I wish reincarnation was real if I could do it again.

If I could be myself all over again, I'd do it so much better.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

If i could do it all again, knowing what i know now... things would be so different.


That's what we all say.

I wish reincarnation was real if I could do it again.

If I could be myself all over again, I'd do it so much better.

..the beauty of hindsight...but we were meant to make mistakes as well, Alex..it's all a balance, if we did everything right all the time, then we wouldn't really have any 'substance' because we learn so much from our 'mistakes' and we carry those lessons through to the future...obviously, we can never change the past, so any time regretting anything is pointless energy..but what we can do is to assess our present and look at anything that we feel we can change about it, to make our future more what we won't have 'regrets' about...if we decide on any changes though, they should always be achievable and maybe just 'step by step' things..I think that maybe when people set very high 'goals', they're subconsciously setting themselves up for failure because they don't really believe in themselves...that's not always the case obviously, but it often is....

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..the beauty of hindsight...but we were meant to make mistakes as well, Alex..it's all a balance, if we did everything right all the time, then we wouldn't really have any 'substance' because we learn so much from our 'mistakes' and we carry those lessons through to the future...obviously, we can never change the past, so any time regretting anything is pointless energy..but what we can do is to assess our present and look at anything that we feel we can change about it, to make our future more what we won't have 'regrets' about...if we decide on any changes though, they should always be achievable and maybe just 'step by step' things..I think that maybe when people set very high 'goals', they're subconsciously setting themselves up for failure because they don't really believe in themselves...that's not always the case obviously, but it often is....

yup.

for any goal, it's important to start now.

One year from now, you will either be one year closer or one year farther from your goals. there's no reason to wait.

but we like to imagine that in an alternate universe we would do things differently, but we probably wouldn't.

...Even if we were reincarnated as ourselves, we'd probably do things exactly the same way again, because we'd still be ourselves.

It's funny how we all have a fantasy of what we should be, even though we already are exactly what we should be, we created ourselves, every bit of ourselves, but we can't take accountability for it.

Everyone i've ever met thinks they are a victim in some way or another. No one thinks that who and what they are is who they really are, they all think they could be better.

everyone is a victim

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by lostalex

If i could do it all again, knowing what i know now... things would be so different.


That's what we all say.

I wish reincarnation was real if I could do it again.

If I could be myself all over again, I'd do it so much better.

Would you though? I've thought like this sometimes and it's a double edged sword... On the one hand it would be great to start again with this power of hindsight and find out 'what if' you'd taken a different path. On the flip side however, the experiences (good and bad) we go through shape us into the person we are today and on the whole would I really want to change that? For me the answer would be no, even though parts of my life have been real low points and I've made a lot of mistakes, there's so much good stuff to balance it out that I don't have many regrets at all.

It's a really interesting line of thought Alex

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

yup.

for any goal, it's important to start now.

One year from now, you will either be one year closer or one year farther from your goals. there's no reason to wait.

but we like to imagine that in an alternate universe we would do things differently, but we probably wouldn't.

...Even if we were reincarnated as ourselves, we'd probably do things exactly the same way again, because we'd still be ourselves.

It's funny how we all have a fantasy of what we should be, even though we already are exactly what we should be, we created ourselves, every bit of ourselves, but we can't take accountability for it.

..yeah, that's exactly right, we are who we are..the good, the bad and the ugly..and some days we see and feel 'the good', some days we feel 'the bad' etc..but they're all just as important to our lives because we take something important from all of them...the tricky bit is realising and seeing the good/positive in the bad things, if that makes sense...

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

yup.

for any goal, it's important to start now.

One year from now, you will either be one year closer or one year farther from your goals. there's no reason to wait.

but we like to imagine that in an alternate universe we would do things differently, but we probably wouldn't.

...Even if we were reincarnated as ourselves, we'd probably do things exactly the same way again, because we'd still be ourselves.

It's funny how we all have a fantasy of what we should be, even though we already are exactly what we should be, we created ourselves, every bit of ourselves, but we can't take accountability for it.

Everyone i've ever met thinks they are a victim in some way or another. No one thinks that who and what they are is who they really are, they all think they could be better.

everyone is a victim

..oh and you added a little bit.....yeah, 'self accountability' is important because I think it's mainly throught that, that we 'learn' and 'grow'..but there are some genuine 'victims' in life though...I see it from young childhood, that their lives are kind of already 'mapped out' for them and their struggle to change that is going to be huge...

[lostalex]

sorry for adding, you know i can't ever post without a few edits lol.

i agree that children are innocent, but it's impossible to have a good childhood when the people providing that childhood were also damaged, so we can go back through the sands of times to find blame, how can we claim victimhood when you can;t find the original evil?

it's hard to claim to be a victim when the people who victimized you are also victims. so i think victimhood is a useless idea.

it's useless to blame damage on people who are even more damaged.

it's like a very dark grey(so dark grey that it's almost black) pot calling the kettle black.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

sorry for adding, you know i can't ever post without a few edits lol.

i agree that children are innocent, but it's impossible to have a good childhood when the people providing that childhood were also damaged, so we can go back through the sands of times to find blame, how can we claim victimhood when you can;t find the original evil?

it's hard to claim to be a victim when the people who victimized you are also victims. so i think victimhood is a useless idea.

it's useless to blame damage on people who are even more damaged.

it's like a very dark grey(so dark grey that it's almost black) pot calling the kettle black.

..hmmmmm, do you think they're all 'damaged' though..maybe some just make bad choices and then if they have children, their children sometimes become 'victims' of their bad choices...?...

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..hmmmmm, do you think they're all 'damaged' though..maybe some just make bad choices and then if they have children, their children sometimes become 'victims' of their bad choices...?...

that's exactly what i'm saying... whenever you think someone's a victim, you always find that the victimizer was also a victim, and so on. The idea of victimhood goes back to the beginning. But who was the original abuser that set off this chain reaction of victims and victimizers?

so who was the original abuser? you can go back centuries to try to find him/her.

if you are religious, you might have to say the original abuser was God.

the blame game can be played forever. and only God is forever.

God started it all. if you think there is one.

That's why i don't believe in God, because if there was a God, he's an asshole for starting this. I certainly wouldn't praise him for creating this mess.

There is no glory in what he's done if he does exist. If there is a God he owes us all an apology.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

that's exactly what i'm saying... whenever you think someone's a victim, you always find that the victimizer was also a victim, and so on. The idea of victimhood goes back to the beginning. But who was the original abuser that set off this chain reaction of victims and victimizers?

so who was the original abuser? you can go back centuries to try to find him/her.

if you are religious, you might have to say the original abuser was God.

the blame game can be played forever. and only God is forever.

God started it all. if you think there is one.

That's why i don't believe in God, because if there was a God, he's an asshole for starting this. I certainly wouldn't praise him for creating this mess.

There is no glory in what he's done if he does exist. If there is a God he owes us all an apology.

....God didn't think this all through, did he.........

..but yeah, I do understand what you're saying...and parents have such a responsibility to their children to not 'pass down' all of the bad stuff but inevitably it will happen to one degree or another, no matter how hard we try not to...Alex, just going off topic...have you ever traced your family tree or ever thought about it..?...

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

....God didn't think this all through, did he.........

..but yeah, I do understand what you're saying...and parents have such a responsibility to their children to not 'pass down' all of the bad stuff but inevitably it will happen to one degree or another, no matter how hard we try not to...Alex, just going off topic...have you ever traced your family tree or ever thought about it..?...

well i'm adopted, do you mean my biological family or adopted family?

biologically, i'm 1/2 Irish, 1/2 Italian.

but my adopted family is 1/2 Scottish(mom), 1/2 Polish Jewish(dad).

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

well i'm adopted, do you mean my biological family or adopted family?

biologically, i'm 1/2 Irish, 1/2 Italian.

but my adopted family is 1/2 Scottish(mom), 1/2 Polish Jewish(dad).

..oh, sorry I didn't realise you were adopted, Alex..my apologies, what you said just made me think about generations and it's something that I've always wanted to do...

[AnnieK]

My mother in law is tracing her family tree at the moment...it's fascinating the things she's finding out....illegimate children, bigamy and wrongs uns coupled with some quite well to do people

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..oh, sorry I didn't realise you were adopted, Alex..my apologies, what you said just made me think about generations and it's something that I've always wanted to do...

I did a genetic test, i used ancestry.com, i took the DNA test, that's how i know my biological ethnicity (the irish and italian) but i don't really feel any connection to any of those countries, biological or adopted.

I just feel 100% American to be honest.

I don't feel any real connection to Ireland or Italy just because a genetic test said that that's where my biological ancestors came from. I thought i would, but i don't.

If ireland or italy ever started **** with the USA, i know which side i'd be on. no doubt in my mind. i feel no connection or loyalty based on my ethnicity at all.

I was born on American land and that makes me 100% American as far as i'm concerned.