[Jules2]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

But he's not his grandparent though is he? and although he might still dislike Gary to some extent, i have never seen him refuse to help him with things, which he easily could do and put it down to his dislike of him.

,

Accepted but he shouldnt then go and take the mickey out of Gary. This is what gauls me. If someone does someone else a kindness it should be from the bottom of their heart and not from the top of a stone wall which only dissolves when the deed can be related and taken to pieces with another person. It is as though he is saying "look how wonderful I am". He isnt, he is one of the biggest stirrers in there.

It is like the person who says, I would give you a sweet if I had one. Trying to look good in another persons eyes but then destroying the fact.

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by abhorson

So carers should not be kind and understanding on the outside ? And even in this enviroment, there should be some understanding surely.

What are you on about, 'carers'? Of course carers should be kind and understanding, but James nor anyone else in there are carers.. like i said, James might dislike Gary, but he doesn't refuse to help him whenever feels he needs to help.

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

I'm not even going to argue with you because you repeat the same thing over and over again.
I have never once said his disabilities don't deserve consideration, his disabilities wasn't even the topicof the post that you quoted fgs.

I feel the same way about you. You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder.

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by Jules2

,

Accepted but he shouldnt then go and take the mickey out of Gary. This is what gauls me. If someone does someone else a kindness it should be from the bottom of their heart and not from the top of a stone wall which only dissolves when the deed can be related and taken to pieces with another person. It is as though he is saying "look how wonderful I am". He isnt, he is one of the biggest stirrers in there.

It is like the person who says, I would give you a sweet if I had one. Trying to look good in another persons eyes but then destroying the fact.

So if someone helps someone because they feel they need help, whether they like them or not, all good from helping said person get's taken away when they say something bad about them? i don't see that logic..

Originally Posted by jaxie

I feel the same way about you. You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder.

No chip here hun, don't worry about that.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

What are you on about, 'carers'? Of course carers should be kind and understanding, but James nor anyone else in there are carers.. like i said, James might dislike Gary, but he doesn't refuse to help him whenever feels he needs to help.

Again, it is about understanding and tolerence. Cost's nothing does it?

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by abhorson

Again, it is about understanding and tolerence. Cost's nothing does it?

No it doesn't you're right.. but they do tolerate him, they might get severely annoyed by him, but they still try with him, that in itself shows tolerance in my eyes.

[jessicadanielle]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

So if someone helps someone because they feel they need help, whether they like them or not, all good from helping said person get's taken away when they say something bad about them? i don't see that logic..

I'm not saying this is necessarily true in James's case, but it does make their motives for helping somebody a little questionable.

If, for example, someone gives to charity then spends the next week bragging about it (which some people do do!), it does seem a little like their motive was to help themselves more than the charity. Of course, the charity has benefitted from their donation, but that's almost a bi-product of the person wanting to make themselves look all charitable and generous.

Like I said, I'm not saying this is necessarily what James does, but it does certainly make it questionable when he helps Gary but then sniggers about him with others. Other members have suggested that he might help to belittle Gary and feel kind of superior, and I have some suspicions that this might be the case.

Edit: then again, James might be genuinely wanting to help Gary and be happy to do so, but then just gets sucked into the bitching and sniggering with Stephanie and sometimes George. It's hard to call.

[Tip]

Yeah James gets angry and he is definitely no saint. Nothing new there.

He and Gary made it up again afterwards - once James had calmed down a bit - but it'll probably be an ongoing cycle in the house as long as both of them are still there.

I wouldn't employ James as a carer - but maybe Gary would

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by abhorson

So carers should not be kind and understanding on the outside ? And even in this enviroment, there should be some understanding surely.

Do you think the hm8s are Garys carers ? fgs hurry up and lets get rid so everyone else can enjoy themselves without babysitting

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

No it doesn't you're right.. but they do tolerate him, they might get severely annoyed by him, but they still try with him, that in itself shows tolerance in my eyes.

ŁŁŁŁŁ

That is what it show's.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Do you think the hm8s are Garys carers ? fgs hurry up and lets get rid so everyone else can enjoy themselves without babysitting

As said previously, of course not.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by abhorson

As said previously, of course not.

It sounded that way

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by Tip

Yeah James gets angry and he is definitely no saint. Nothing new there.

He and Gary made it up again afterwards - once James had calmed down a bit - but it'll probably be an ongoing cycle in the house as long as both of them are still there.

I wouldn't employ James as a carer - but maybe Gary would

In seriousness. Great point. That is the understanding.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

It sounded that way

Sorry.

Just understanding of the situation. James is not twenty.

Many twenty year olds understand it.

[Jules2]

Originally Posted by Josy

I think James like to make out that Gary depends on him a lot more than Gary actually does, that's just my opinion from watching the goings on in there.

Audley, Frenchy and Edele would help Gary out if he needed it.

We have been brainwashed into thinking that Gary does need help but I wonder if some of it is, as someone else said, the fact that he is waited on at home and told when and where to do such and such a thing. With his career he will have stayed in hotels etc. etc. It is the same as someone repairing a car, I wouldnt know where to start, mind you even if I was shown I think I would get it wrong but many would learn. Me, I do not have to but see what I am saying.

A case of understanding and getting used to a situation and not being made fun of for washing a cup and washing the sides, for having a shower etc. etc. I am willing to bet that noone else is under such scrutiny as Gary, he doesnt have a firm friend other than Frenchy, the others talk down to him and not with him as though they are better. The only other one I would trust is Audley tbh. Lauren peed in the pool, George drank the water how do we know who washes their hands after toilet?

I dont think he is slow but I think that James has made him to dependent on him. Perhaps it would be a good thing for James to go after all, maybe Gary will come into his own.

[jet]

Originally Posted by Josy

Gary butted in because he heard his name being mentioned, it's not a crime to want to know what was being said and I agree that constant butting in would be annoying but is there really a need for James to get so wound up about it? he's the only one that seems to get so irate..

And again no one says Gary should be exempt from any blame, you seem to mention that a lot when it's over exaggerating IMO there is plenty of people that support Gary and CAN admit his faults.

James goes on about being rude whilst being completely rude.

I think (the bolded part) is because he is the only one who really bothers with him and Gary is maddeningly annoying to be around. The others wisely stay away and get off scot free even though not helping or interacting could be seen as even more uncaring. I honestly think James likes him and wants to help but he isn't the best person to do it - he's too volatile and hot - headed.
I wish James would just distance himself and let us see how one of the others deals so closely with him. But they are happy to let James carry on even though they must see his temperament isn't suited to it. They all get off the hook.

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by jessicadanielle

I'm not saying this is necessarily true in James's case, but it does make their motives for helping somebody a little questionable.

If, for example, someone gives to charity then spends the next week bragging about it (which some people do do!), it does seem a little like their motive was to help themselves more than the charity. Of course, the charity has benefitted from their donation, but that's almost a bi-product of the person wanting to make themselves look all charitable and generous.

Like I said, I'm not saying this is necessarily what James does, but it does certainly make it questionable when he helps Gary but then sniggers about him with others. Other members have suggested that he might help to belittle Gary and feel kind of superior, and I have some suspicions that this might be the case.

Edit: then again, James might be genuinely wanting to help Gary and be happy to do so, but then just gets sucked into the bitching and sniggering with Stephanie and sometimes George. It's hard to call.

I see the point about the charity, that's what i was saying about Ashleigh during the last series
But, with the whole James situation, it annoys me that people don't acknowledge the fact that what James does to help Gary is a good thing, granted people don't like him so find it hard to admit that he does any good whatsoever, but that's not fair.
like i said, James could easily turn around and say no to helping Gary and let him do everything himself because he doesn't like him, but he doesn't because he seen that no matter how much he dislikes him or how annoying Gary is, he's still an old man who needs help with things, so yes he bitches about Gary and quite frequently says how much he dislikes him, but at the end of the day, he puts that aside to help him when no-one else will, that's a good guy in my eyes.

Originally Posted by abhorson

ŁŁŁŁŁ

That is what it show's.

That makes no sense, they all get paid whether they're nice to Gary or not

[abhorson]

Audley could win this if he is as polite sand sensible as i think he is.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

I see the point about the charity, that's what i was saying about Ashleigh during the last series
But, with the whole James situation, it annoys me that people don't acknowledge the fact that what James does to help Gary is a good thing, granted people don't like him so find it hard to admit that he does any good whatsoever, but that's not fair.
like i said, James could easily turn around and say no to helping Gary and let him do everything himself because he doesn't like him, but he doesn't because he seen that no matter how much he dislikes him or how annoying Gary is, he's still an old man who needs help with things, so yes he bitches about Gary and quite frequently says how much he dislikes him, but at the end of the day, he puts that aside to help him when no-one else will, that's a good guy in my eyes.



That makes no sense, they all get paid whether they're nice to Gary or not

Does James want to go. Not rocket science Liam.

[Jules2]

Originally Posted by jet

I think (the bolded part) is because he is the only one who really bothers with him and Gary is maddeningly annoying to be around. The others wisely stay away and get off scot free even though not helping or interacting could be seen as even more uncaring. I honestly think James likes him and wants to help but he isn't the best person to do it - he's too volatile and hot - headed.
I wish James would just distance himself and let us see how one of the others deals so closely with him. But they are happy to let James carry on even though they must see his temperament isn't suited to it. They all get off the hook.

Thinking about it though, maybe it would be good for them all to just treat him as part of the house and not try and make him different. My daughter is disabled but she is very capable of fitting in, this is how it should be regardless.

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by abhorson

Does James want to go. Not rocket science Liam.

None of them want to go, not even that corner dwelling moaning Myrtle, but 'ŁŁŁŁŁ' has no relevance if you meant that he's doing it to stay in

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by abhorson

Sorry.

Just understanding of the situation. James is not twenty.

Many twenty year olds understand it.

Gary is an EQUAL hm8 and should be treat as such ,not be a burden on everyone ,where they get the patience they have all shown with him is amazing

[Pincho Paxton]

This case isn't really about helping Gary, so a lot of the posts are off topic. This is about Gary being deaf, and hearing his name mentioned, then James going crazy at him. We know that James talks about Gary a lot with Gary in the room. So we should concentrate of the actual argument with Gary.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Gary is an EQUAL hm8 and should be treat as such ,not be a burden on everyone ,where they get the patience they have all shown with him is amazing

This i agree with. It could well be hard. But patience is what is needed. That is the understanding lacking,

[jessicadanielle]

Originally Posted by LiamPRW

I see the point about the charity, that's what i was saying about Ashleigh during the last series
But, with the whole James situation, it annoys me that people don't acknowledge the fact that what James does to help Gary is a good thing, granted people don't like him so find it hard to admit that he does any good whatsoever, but that's not fair.
like i said, James could easily turn around and say no to helping Gary and let him do everything himself because he doesn't like him, but he doesn't because he seen that no matter how much he dislikes him or how annoying Gary is, he's still an old man who needs help with things, so yes he bitches about Gary and quite frequently says how much he dislikes him, but at the end of the day, he puts that aside to help him when no-one else will, that's a good guy in my eyes.

Yeah I agree James could just leave Gary to it and not bother with him and he doesn't which is nice. But personally, I feel like the "niceness" is cancelled out by how bitter he seems about the fact that he has to help him. Even like when Gary was cleaning because James had "helped to educate him" that he'd be more liked if he was tidier (some other hms had discussed it in their noms too), James and others took that opportunity to make fun of Gary. Just doesn't seem like he does really want to help him just out of his own kindness at times like that. I respect that your opinion is that James's help indicates that he's a good guy though

Also, on a sidenote, I've never thought of Gary as needing much help really. Maybe in the shower if it is really slippy, but otherwise Gary seems just fine. I'm not sure what "help" James is referring to, but it could just be cut out of the hls.