[Z]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't know, does your friend want to mend bridges with this family member or has he washed his hands of him? If your friend is interested in a reconciliation then maybe stick around and hear him out but as I said make it clear that although you're hearing his words and appreciate him being big enough to do that, words are weak

My friend would like a full family reconciliation but the simple act of accepting this apology won't achieve that as this person has already burnt their bridges with my friend's brother and his wife and all of their own siblings, accepting this apology would only be a very small piece of a very messy puzzle and would not likely improve any of the other situations and would perhaps put my friend in an awkward position with his two brothers who would likely be disappointed in him for caving to what's almost certainly not a genuine apology.

Originally Posted by Ellen

Assuming your friend knows why the person was been horrible in the first place, accept the apology if it was offered for the sake of family peace this time but i would have very little to do with that person in the future.

My friend doesn't know why specifically this person was horrible to them but my friend can see patterns in this person's behaviour so isn't surprised. The apology is only being offered because someone else has tried to force them into apologising and hasn't come about from a genuine place of feeling remorseful. It wouldn't restore family peace, it would be putting a paper thin layer of superficial "we're a happy family" over a bad, deep wound.

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

if im honest, its sounds childish from both sides, even they way of asking for advise.
tell them they are a selfish bastard, and their sorry means fcuk all!

stand up for yourself, or be a door matt for life.

My friend whose name rhymes with Clegg does not appreciate your tone but my friend was intending on doing exactly what you said until my friend thought about it and wanted advice... good job they have me to ask other people on their behalf eh...

Originally Posted by Shaun

I'd wait to hear the apology first and then judge it...

Of course, but it's very, very likely that it won't be at all genuine - my friend was informed by another family member today that this would be happening today in all likelihood after that family member had a long talk with the problematic family member yesterday; and when those two returned from their talk, a fourth family member had a fight with the problematic family member as soon as they got back, so it's clear that making amends very obviously isn't on the agenda.

Originally Posted by Braden

I would accept the apology whether it is genuine or not. In my opinion it would be a huge weight off of everyone's shoulders, and it would make Meg the better person to accept it and not cause any more problems.

If their not sincere with their apology initially, then Meg accepting it anyway will possibly make things a lot easier between family members, and will make the other person feel at ease which would lead to them feeling more earnest towards how they made her upset in the first place.

Meg thinks that perhaps it wouldn't be a weight off anyone's shoulders apart from the problematic family member, like it would alleviate their guilt but wouldn't fix anything, and it would maybe give the problematic family member's partner a bit of a reprieve for a little while, but it wouldn't solve anything for the three kids who all deserve to be treated with as much respect as anyone else and perhaps Meg's two siblings would be angry with Meg if Meg accepted the apology and pretended everything was fine for the next 3 weeks before Meg skips town.

Originally Posted by Ammi

..it might not be the apology that Meg wants or feels she deserves but 'sorry' is an 'alien' word to that person so even saying it is a huge step..maybe start with that step, see what the apology is and just see how the conversation goes from there and maybe more steps will be taken bit by bit...for Meg it might seem small and not enough but for the family member giving it, it could be huge and lead them to thinking about things ..?...

Yes, my friend Meg agrees with you, this person has never said sorry for anything in their life so if they said it at all it would be a gigantic step for them even though it's extremely likely they won't mean it. Meg doesn't think she's ever heard the word "sorry" come out of this person's mouth, ever.

Originally Posted by Ammi

..well really what Shaun said only he didn't use as many words...but yeah, it's a start, it's something..don't refuse it I don't think but see where it leads and how you feel when it's given...

Meg will just have to wait and see what is said, you're right.