[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..it's actually often quite difficult and a struggle to get a diagnosis on school children here, Alex...

i understand, but i also think there is a big push from certain parents to get a psychological diagnosis, when sometimes, it's just bad parents making the problems. the parents what to find a medical solution to something that is actually a family problem.

I love my parents, but they were bad parents. They were so busy with their careers and making a perfect home, that they never gave me any attention and i felt completely alone. so i acted out to get more attention,. but my parents thought "well we have provided everything for him, how can we be possibly to blame?" and of course when your parents are paying the bills the psychologist agree's with them.

i didn't need medication. i didn't need a diagnosis, i just needed my parents to actually spend time with me, instead of spending all of their time working and planning and setting up[ piano lessons and soccer games, and never actually talking to me, or guiding me. It's like they expected teachers and coaches to do all the guiding, when =actually it was THEIR job to guide me and teach me.

some parents don't realize that their number 1 job is to be a teacher. i just wanted my parents to teach me and i didn't know how to express that to them as a child. i didn't know how to ask them for that. i just knew that i was unhappy. and so i acted out to get more attention from them.

my parents would rather believe that i had a psychological disease and needed medication, than believe that i just wanted them to spend more time with me. it's very sad.

children are Not pets. being a parents is more than just providing a nice house, and good food, and piano lessons, and summer camp and tutors. being a parents is so much more than that. Just providing THINGS is not being a good parent.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

i understand, but i also think there is a big push from certain parents to get a psychological diagnosis, when sometimes, it's just bad parents making the problems. the parents what to find a medical solution to something that is actually a family problem.

I love my parents, but they were bad parents. They were so busy with their careers and making a perfect home, that they never gave me any attention and i felt completely alone. so i acted out to get more attention,. but my parents thought "well we have provided everything for him, how can we be possibly to blame?" and of course when your parents are paying the bills the psychologist agree's with them.

i didn't need medication. i didn't need a diagnosis, i just needed my parents to actually spend time with me, instead of spending all of their time working and planning and setting up[ piano lessons and soccer games, and never actually talking to me, or guiding me. It's like they expected teachers and coaches to do all the guiding, when =actually it was THEIR job to guide me and teach me.

some parents don't realize that their number 1 job is to be a teacher. i just wanted my parents to teach me and i didn't know how to express that to them as a child. i didn't know how to ask them for that. i just knew that i was unhappy. and so i acted out to get more attention from them.

my parents would rather believe that i had a psychological disease and needed medication, than believe that i just wanted them to spend more time with me. it's very sad.

children are Not pets. being a parents is more than just providing a nice house, and good food, and piano lessons, and summer camp and tutors. being a parents is so much more than that. Just providing THINGS is not being a good parent.

..yeah, I do see ..I'm sure that your parents actions were always out of love and the belief that they were doing a great job but it's funny how, what is given is not always what is received and sometimes the very opposite thing, really...they wanted you in their life/to make you happy but they wanted other things as well, which made them happy and filled their lives and somehow, it didn't all fit and then it's always going to be the child who feels it most...maybe they set up all of these things, like piano lessons etc because those were suggestions to them...why don't you try/I think this may be good for him..?.../type thing so feeling as lost as you were in a way as well..and so they would just flounder in their confusion as well ...and not able to see it so give you the guidance that you needed and with that guidance, make you believe in yourself....just really sad for all of you, I can see that..if only there was a handbook and if only there was hindsight but there when you need it to be there...beforesight.../at the right time sight....