[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Jack_

I would have to like them enough, but probably. Would be a bit wary of it being on TV what with all the undeserved hatred you'd receive but oh well

The single party in instances of cheating are absolved of any blame, unless they know the person that's being cheated on...but even then, still not their wrongdoing

I don't think it would be undeserved at all.

And anyone who knowingly gets with a married person is just as much in the wrong as the married person, in my opinion. I don't think they deserve to be absolved of anything, they've been just as complicit in hurting and disrespecting someone as the other person.

Anyway, my answer is no.

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Home wreckers aren't classy

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

I don't think it would be undeserved at all.

And anyone who knowingly gets with a married person is just as much in the wrong as the married person, in my opinion. I don't think they deserve to be absolved of anything, they've been just as complicit in hurting and disrespecting someone as the other person.

Anyway, my answer is no.

Absolutely agree. I think if you either go through or witness someone you love going through the complete devastation cheating can cause some people might have a change of opinion on it

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

I don't think it would be undeserved at all.

And anyone who knowingly gets with a married person is just as much in the wrong as the married person, in my opinion. I don't think they deserve to be absolved of anything, they've been just as complicit in hurting and disrespecting someone as the other person.

But they are also single, and free to do as they wish. Seriously, I get so sick of seeing the single party in instances of cheating being blamed more than the actual person who cheated. Like if a guy cheated on his girlfriend with some girl they knew, the girl will direct all the blame at the 'home wrecking slut' and let her boyfriend off the hook. It's absolute nonsense.

I am not saying it's nice to knowingly get with someone you know is taken, it is certainly very nasty and leaves that person with questionable morals - but at the end of the day they are single, and are free to do whatever they wish. If a person who is taken is prepared to cheat, that is their problem and their problem only. It's like people who chastised Helen Wood for nearly 'ruining' Wayne Rooney's marriage. No, **** that ****, she was paid to do a job by a taken man who willingly wanted to cheat, that is his problem and no one else's.

This culture of blaming the single person and quite often absolving the cheater of any blame has to stop. If you are single, you can do what you want. Sure, it's not morally right to go ahead and get with someone you know is taken, but you are still free to do that. The cheater does not. And is absolutely the only one deserving of any blame. At all.

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Jack_

But they are also single, and free to do as they wish. Seriously, I get so sick of seeing the single party in instances of cheating being blamed more than the actual person who cheated. Like if a guy cheated on his girlfriend with some girl they knew, the girl will direct all the blame at the 'home wrecking slut' and let her boyfriend off the hook. It's absolute nonsense.

I am not saying it's nice to knowingly get with someone you know is taken, it is certainly very nasty and leaves that person with questionable morals - but at the end of the day they are single, and are free to do whatever they wish. If a person who is taken is prepared to cheat, that is their problem and their problem only. It's like people who chastised Helen Wood for nearly 'ruining' Wayne Rooney's marriage. No, **** that ****, she was paid to do a job by a taken man who willingly wanted to cheat, that is his problem and no one else's.

This culture of blaming the single person and quite often absolving the cheater of any blame has to stop. If you are single, you can do what you want. Sure, it's not morally right to go ahead and get with someone you know is taken, but you are still free to do that. The cheater does not. And is absolutely the only one deserving of any blame. At all.

Sure, they're "free" to do as they wish, there's no law against it. That doesn't make it a morally decent thing to do. And I never said the single person should get all the blame, I specifically said they should be equally held accountable.

Sorry but I'm never going to agree with you that the "bit on the side" (lord knows why anybody would want to be that anyway) is completely undeserving of blame. It takes two to tango, and both of the two should face the responsibilites for hurting someone (because they both did).

Knowingly getting with a married person is, in my opinon, a terrible thing to do and that person is no better, in any way, than the actual cheater. I actually have no respect whatsoever for either party, and I feel no problem in saying that.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

Sure, they're "free" to do as they wish, there's no law against it. That doesn't make it a morally decent thing to do. And I never said the single person should get all the blame, I specifically said they should be equally held accountable.

Sorry but I'm never going to agree with you that the "bit on the side" (lord knows why anybody would want to be that anyway) is completely undeserving of blame. It takes two to tango, and both of the two should face the responsibilites for hurting someone (because they both did).

Knowingly getting with a married person is, in my opinon, a terrible thing to do and that person is no better, in any way, than the actual cheater. I actually have no respect whatsoever for either party, and I feel no problem in saying that.

Of course it's not a morally decent thing to do, that still doesn't make it anywhere near on the same level as someone who is in a relationship, and willingly jeopardises that relationship by cheating. The single person has absolutely nothing to lose or risk themselves, and therefore the action they are taking is a lot more justifiable.

There is also a lot of sexism rooted in patriarchy with this issue. As I said, the term 'homewrecker' stems from that and is used by females to abuse the woman who got with their partner, when really they should be directing their anger straight at their partner. It's this underlying notion of 'well, boys will be boys!' and 'a padlock can only be opened by one key but a master key will open many padlocks' and it just has to stop. Obviously there are taken women who cheat too, but a lot of these attitudes stem from sexist beliefs like this. And that makes it even worse, and even more important that it is stopped.

Think that the single person deserves some blame all you want, on that I still disagree, but I absolutely refute the idea they deserve the same amount. One is single, one has put their own relationship at risk. The two are completely different situations.

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Jack_

Of course it's not a morally decent thing to do, that still doesn't make it anywhere near on the same level as someone who is in a relationship, and willingly jeopardises that relationship by cheating. The single person has absolutely nothing to lose or risk themselves, and therefore the action they are taking is a lot more justifiable.

Pursuing a relationship with a married person will never ever be "justifiable" to me. In any way. People can tell themselves they're doing nothing wrong because they're not the one in the relationship but that's just a load of twaddle to make themselves feel better about the horrible thing they're doing, in my eyes.

Originally Posted by Jack_

There is also a lot of sexism rooted in patriarchy with this issue. As I said, the term 'homewrecker' stems from that and is used by females to abuse the woman who got with their partner, when really they should be directing their anger straight at their partner. It's this underlying notion of 'well, boys will be boys!' and 'a padlock can only be opened by one key but a master key will open many padlocks' and it just has to stop. Obviously there are taken women who cheat too, but a lot of these attitudes stem from sexist beliefs like this. And that makes it even worse, and even more important that it is stopped.

Yeah but none of this applies to my stance on the subject. I'm happy to call a male "bit on the side" a homewrecker too.

Originally Posted by Jack_

Think that the single person deserves some blame all you want, on that I still disagree, but I absolutely refute the idea they deserve the same amount. One is single, one has put their own relationship at risk. The two are completely different situations.

Okay, so in the cases when an affair completely destroys a family, the "other person" isn't deserving of a single ounce of blame for that? None at all? Well I don't understand that notion whatsoever, since the affair was perpetuated by two people.

Quite frankly imo, the one thing that makes someone who pursues a relationship with a married person worse is one who refuses to accept their share of the blame. We'll have to agree to disagree since we're clearly on entirely opposite sides of the spectrum on this debate.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

Pursuing a relationship with a married person will never ever be "justifiable" to me. In any way. People can tell themselves they're doing nothing wrong because they're not the one in the relationship but that's just a load of twaddle to make themselves feel better about the horrible thing they're doing, in my eyes.

But they aren't the one in a relationship, so it isn't 'twaddle', it's true. If you are single, you can get with whoever you want, whenever you want, as many times as you want. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, so long as you are not jeopardising a relationship with or hurting someone you made a commitment to yourself, your actions are much more justifiable than the ones who did.

Are you a bit of an inconsiderate ****? Sure. Are your morals questionable? Sure. But have you cheated on someone yourself? No, which is the worst part of any instances of cheating. No other immoral actions come close to the direct issue of cheating on someone you made a commitment to.

Yeah but none of this applies to my stance on the subject. I'm happy to call a male "bit on the side" a homewrecker too.

It absolutely applies because this culture and attitude is what it stems from, sexism and patriarchy. Prostitutes being blamed for ruining relationships when they were just doing their job, single women being abused and being called 'homewreckers' by the girlfriend while the man gets let off the hook. Disgusting nonsense that has to stop.

Okay, so in the cases when an affair completely destroys a family, the "other person" isn't deserving of a single ounce of blame for that? None at all? Well I don't understand that notion whatsoever, since the affair was perpetuated by two people.

Quite frankly imo, the one thing that makes someone who pursues a relationship with a married person worse is one who refuses to accept their share of the blame. We'll have to agree to disagree since we're clearly on entirely opposite sides of the spectrum on this debate.

Not at all, because they were not the one in a relationship. They never made a commitment to anyone, and as such, are a free agent allowed to do what they wish. It is no one's responsibility but your own to not cheat on your partner. Relationships are two-way bubble, if yours is ruined it is your fault and your fault only. No outsider can play any part in your relationship and the responsibility you have to respect them and not to cheat on them.

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Jack_

But they aren't the one in a relationship, so it isn't 'twaddle', it's true. If you are single, you can get with whoever you want, whenever you want, as many times as you want. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, so long as you are not jeopardising a relationship with or hurting someone you made a commitment to yourself, your actions are much more justifiable than the ones who did.

Are you a bit of an inconsiderate ****? Sure. Are your morals questionable? Sure. But have you cheated on someone yourself? No, which is the worst part of any instances of cheating. No other immoral actions come close to the direct issue of cheating on someone you made a commitment to.

So in a nutshell, it's "justifiable" to be a part of hurting and utterly disrespecting someone if it's not somebody you've made a commitment to? It's "justifiable" to play a role in possible destroying a family because you're not the one who made a promise to them?

Originally Posted by Jack_

It absolutely applies because this culture and attitude is what it stems from, sexism and patriarchy. Prostitutes being blamed for ruining relationships when they were just doing their job, single women being abused and being called 'homewreckers' by the girlfriend while the man gets let off the hook. Disgusting nonsense that has to stop.

Jack, I said it doesn't apply to me, my opinion on the matter has absolutely nothing to do with all of this. Sure, there are people who blame the other person more than the married person but I'm not one of them. I've explained my stance on it very clearly more than once.

Originally Posted by Jack_

Not at all, because they were not the one in a relationship. They never made a commitment to anyone, and as such, are a free agent allowed to do what they wish. It is no one's responsibility but your own to not cheat on your partner. Relationships are two-way bubble, if yours is ruined it is your fault and your fault only. No outsider can play any part in your relationship and the responsibility you have to respect them and not to cheat on them.

Yeah, there's clearly nothing more for us to discuss on the matter, I don't understand this view on the matter whatsoever, and to be honest I hope I never do.