[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

I somewhat disagree with people who say that you're "born" gay. While this is the case for some people, I think some people can "develop" homosexuality in their later life and begin to show an interest for the same gender over a certain period of time.

What are your thoughts on this?

Yeah, I think it varies depending on the individual. Some identify as gay from a younger age, and I absolutely believe some only develop those feelings later in life.

There isn't a simple yes / now answer to the debate that applies to all gay people.

[TomC]

Originally Posted by JoshBB

That's the whole point.

Then the word can't be used in an abusive, hateful, or offensive manner.. the words then lose their power. Reclaiming words is an important aspect of empowering any group that faces prejudice.

I disagree to be honest. People will still use it as abuse - although we don't really have racism against black people in this country any more, regardless of the fact black people casually call each other the N word, it can still be used as a highly abusive term.

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by JoshBB

um?? yes it is though?

No, this just leads back to my earlier thread about how gay people can be homophobic.

[Marsh.]

I find this thread deeply deeply upsetting.

[JoshBB]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

No, this just leads back to my earlier thread about how gay people can be homophobic.

It doesn't lead back to homophobia at all

Are you going to discuss this properly or am I wasting my time?

[JoshBB]

Originally Posted by hownwbrowncow

I disagree to be honest. People will still use it as abuse - although we don't really have racism against black people in this country any more, regardless of the fact black people casually call each other the N word, it can still be used as a highly abusive term.

Yeah but eventually it would get to the point where if someone used it as abuse then it would have far less impact on the person and they would be far less upset/angered by it

[Liam-]

Not my self shaming being deleted

[TomC]

Originally Posted by JoshBB

Yeah but eventually it would get to the point where if someone used it as abuse then it would have far less impact on the person and they would be far less upset/angered by it

Your point just doesn't make sense to me. Because gay people use derogatory words to describe themselves, it stops being derogatory when others say it? Like I said, this has happened before which ethnic minorities and indeed sexual minorities and nothing changes - the word remains as offensive, regardless of whether it's taboo or not.

[Glenn.]

I find anyone that thinks being gay is a choice, to be extremely ignorant. I'm a bit offended tbh.

[DemolitionRed]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Whilst I do not want to connect the 2 in any way shape of form


it does beg the question are you born a paedophile?

Why would you even associate the two?

[Glenn.]

I just realised who the op is and I'm shocked that someone with supposedly high intelligence to be a solicitor/lawyer etc can have such stupid opinions.

[TomC]

Originally Posted by Quasar

I find anyone that thinks being gay is a choice, to be extremely ignorant. I'm a bit offended tbh.

They never said it was a choice!

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

I just realised who the op is and I'm shocked that someone with supposedly high intelligence to be a solicitor/lawyer etc can have such stupid opinions.

Lmao @ you thinking that I think being gay is a choice and then saying I'm stupid for something that YOU assumed.

Sometimes I think you try to be controversial on purpose and tbh it's getting on my nerves.

[Glenn.]

If gay people, in someone's view, wasn't born gay then they imply that it's a choice rather than not.

[JoshBB]

Originally Posted by hownwbrowncow

Your point just doesn't make sense to me. Because gay people use derogatory words to describe themselves, it stops being derogatory when others say it? Like I said, this has happened before which ethnic minorities and indeed sexual minorities and nothing changes - the word remains as offensive, regardless of whether it's taboo or not.

You're going to have to google the concept, I'm not very good at explaining it but it makes sense to me and I think it would for you too.

[JoshBB]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

Sometimes I think you try to be controversial on purpose and tbh it's getting on my nerves.

sCREAMING

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

If gay people, in someone's view, wasn't born gay then they imply that it's a choice rather than not.

You're the one doing the implying.

Currently I'm straight. Could I fall in love with another girl sometime in the future? Perhaps. Does that mean I've been bi/gay all of my life, despite never having feelings for a girl up until that point? Perhaps.

[Glenn.]

Then I don't quite get the thread? In your first post you state quite ignorantly that you don't think people are born gay. Have I missed something?

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

Then I don't quite get the thread? In your first post you state quite ignorantly that you don't think people are born gay. Have I missed something?

And you say that I'm a stupid person for thinking that just because I don't have the same opinion as you, like you do in every single ****ing thread in this forum.

Now I wait patiently for my first ban

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

If gay people, in someone's view, wasn't born gay then they imply that it's a choice rather than not.

No it doesn't. It's suggesting that sexuality forms later in life.

There are many things we are that we don't choose to be but are also not born with either.

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

You're the one doing the implying.

Currently I'm straight. Could I fall in love with another girl sometime in the future? Perhaps. Does that mean I've been bi/gay all of my life, despite never having feelings for a girl up until that point? Perhaps.

Yes it means you're bi. You don't just wake up one day being gay

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Quasar

If gay people, in someone's view, wasn't born gay then they imply that it's a choice rather than not.

No it doesn't in the slightest. This is exactly the kind of misconception I was talking about in my first post in this thread.

Some people believe you are born with a sexuality (i.e. nature), others believe your sexuality comes into fruition through socialisation (i.e. nurture). Neither of these possibilities ever implies that it is possible to choose, or indeed change your sexuality. At all.

You do not choose how you are socialised, you are a product of your environment. Therefore you do not choose your sexuality. Nor can you change it. But that doesn't necessarily mean you were born with it.

I honestly don't understand why people often make this correlation between the nurture argument and people saying sexuality is a choice, the two are not related at all the idea that you can choose or change your sexuality is moronic, but the idea that sexuality is socialised and learned behaviour is not, and is a very valid argument

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

No it doesn't. It's suggesting that sexuality forms later in life.

There are many things we are that we don't choose to be but are also not born with either.

Gay isn't something you just develop though. The underlining feeling has always been there but opportunities and such don't arise to fully understand them feelings. It's like dezzy quite rightly says, if someone has had straight relationships all their lives then they sudden go come out as gay, theyve suppressed it.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Jack_

No it doesn't in the slightest. This is exactly the kind of misconception I was talking about in my first post in this thread.

Some people believe you are born with a sexuality (i.e. nature), others believe your sexuality comes into fruition through socialisation (i.e. nurture). Neither of these possibilities ever implies that it is possible to choose, or indeed change your sexuality. At all.

You do not choose how you are socialised, you are a product of your environment. Therefore you do not choose your sexuality. Nor can you change it. But that doesn't necessarily mean you were born with it.

I honestly don't understand why people often make this correlation between the nurture argument and people saying sexuality is a choice, the two are not related at all the idea that you can choose or change your sexuality is moronic, but the idea that sexuality is socialised and learned behaviour is not, and is a very valid argument

Exactly.

It's like a cold blooded murderer. Doubtful they were born like that but their frame of mind was formed through their upbringing/environment etc.

Not that I'm suggesting a link between psychos and gays.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

Gay isn't something you just develop though. The underlining feeling has always been there but opportunities and such don't arise to fully understand them feelings. It's like dezzy quite rightly says, if someone has had straight relationships all their lives then they sudden go come out as gay, theyve suppressed it.

I'm not saying "develop gay", I'm talking about sexuality in general.

Babies, as far as I'm aware, don't have sexual urges. It's something that develops later. Therefore whatever sexuality they are -straight, gay, bi, whatever- also forms later.