[Vicky.]

It is ****ing disgusting that they have had to wait this long for answers. I don't know if I should be happy for them getting closer to finding out the truth, or upset that there seems to be an even smaller chance than ever before of ever finding him :S

The way this investigation has been handled is a disgrace.

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

It is ****ing disgusting that they have had to wait this long for answers. I don't know if I should be happy for them getting closer to finding out the truth, or upset that there seems to be an even smaller chance than ever before of ever finding him :S

The way this investigation has been handled is a disgrace.

Why wouldn't the man have just come forward after it happened though if it were an accident? Instead living with both the guilt of killing the boy and putting his parents through a life of torment at not knowing where Ben was, if he was alive, if awful things were happening to him etc

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Why wouldn't the man have just come forward after it happened though if it were an accident? Instead living with both the guilt of killing the boy and putting his parents through a life of torment at not knowing where Ben was, if he was alive, if awful things were happening to him etc

Selfishness; even with it being an accident it's likely that he had been in some way negligent so he would probably have been convicted of manslaughter. Even without the legal implications it's likely that he thought he couldn't handle the guilt / shame of other people knowing what he had done.

It is horrendous though. As impossible as it would be to deal with the loss of a child at all... knowing straight away that your child has been killed in an accident, probably died instantly and didn't suffer, is a million miles away from believing that your child has been abducted and likely endured hours / days / years even of fear and horror. Not knowing if they are alive or dead and being unable to grieve. What he has taken from that family out of self-preservation is unforgivable in my opinion. And there's no one to answer for it now, as he's dead anyway. Although you have to question how long this friend that came forward knew about it, and potentially other people in this man's life?

Might also be tasteless timing to point out, but this also just confirms a very real crime statistic: a significant proportion of reported abductions are people (often family members) trying to cover up an accidental death.

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Selfishness; even with it being an accident it's likely that he had been in some way negligent so he would probably have been convicted of manslaughter. Even without the legal implications it's likely that he thought he couldn't handle the guilt / shame of other people knowing what he had done.

It is horrendous though. As impossible as it would be to deal with the loss of a child at all... knowing straight away that your child has been killed in an accident, probably died instantly and didn't suffer, is a million miles away from believing that your child has been abducted and likely endured hours / days / years even of fear and horror. Not knowing if they are alive or dead and being unable to grieve. What he has taken from that family out of self-preservation is unforgivable in my opinion. And there's no one to answer for it now, as he's dead anyway. Although you have to question how long this friend that came forward knew about it, and potentially other people in this man's life?

Might also be tasteless timing to point out, but this also just confirms a very real crime statistic: a significant proportion of reported abductions are people (often family members) trying to cover up an accidental death.

mmhhmm, I am trying not to have this thread turn into another endless you-know-who-debate-though

Re the first part of your post, yeah i see your point but it's so so selfish and horrific to put the childs family through that especially when he was apparently a friend of theirs? He couldn't have been feeling that guilty about killing the child though if he was still prepared to hide this and hurt his family even more

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

mmhhmm, I am trying not to have this thread turn into another endless you-know-who-debate-though

Re the first part of your post, yeah i see your point but it's so so selfish and horrific to put the childs family through that especially when he was apparently a friend of theirs? He couldn't have been feeling that guilty about killing the child though if he was still prepared to hide this and hurt his family even more

Sadly the lengths people will go to for self preservation stopped surprising me years ago. I can only assume that people have some ability to lock things away in the back of their mind that has somehow bypassed me... I can't handle even small scale secrets if I know they have the potential to come out and affect my life in some way. But people manage to keep these huge, horrendous secrets locked away for years and go on living, laughing, smiling.

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Selfishness; even with it being an accident it's likely that he had been in some way negligent so he would probably have been convicted of manslaughter. Even without the legal implications it's likely that he thought he couldn't handle the guilt / shame of other people knowing what he had done.

It is horrendous though. As impossible as it would be to deal with the loss of a child at all... knowing straight away that your child has been killed in an accident, probably died instantly and didn't suffer, is a million miles away from believing that your child has been abducted and likely endured hours / days / years even of fear and horror. Not knowing if they are alive or dead and being unable to grieve. What he has taken from that family out of self-preservation is unforgivable in my opinion. And there's no one to answer for it now, as he's dead anyway. Although you have to question how long this friend that came forward knew about it, and potentially other people in this man's life?

Might also be tasteless timing to point out, but this also just confirms a very real crime statistic: a significant proportion of reported abductions are people (often family members) trying to cover up an accidental death.

Terrible tragedy and even if an accident there is a crime is keeping the secret and allowing his family to suffer all these years. Also weird in a self preservation theory to tell someone. And weird of them to keep the secret also. I think perhaps they should be prosecuted for that.

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by jaxie

Terrible tragedy and even if an accident there is a crime is keeping the secret and allowing his family to suffer all these years. Also weird in a self preservation theory to tell someone. And weird of them to keep the secret also. I think perhaps they should be prosecuted for that.

I don't think so, atleast they eventually came forward, prosecuting them could stop others in similar situations from coming forward in future

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't think so, atleast they eventually came forward, prosecuting them could stop others in similar situations from coming forward in future

That would be my reservation against punishing someone coming forward with this sort of information. First and foremost you want people to know they can do so safely, so long as they haven't been directly involved in a crime / accident

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't think so, atleast they eventually came forward, prosecuting them could stop others in similar situations from coming forward in future

It just seems a terrible thing to do to hide something like that. Like being an accessory.