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Josy · 16-10-2017, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob!

But as lots of people in here have pointed out, including other mods, it's more a case of new people settling in than deliberately being ignored. It's not a conscious thing that is ever done. Every single member that has ever posted anywhere on this forum was probably "ignored" for a bit, when they first started, even you.

And exactly - you do it to people you get on with, which is exactly the same thing that happens in the chat thread with a number of people that post in there, so I don't really understand why you brought it up, unless you're implying that established members having banter like that with one another is somehow off putting to people that don't post in there as often? Which, again, is something you say you do to the people you get on with on here? It's surely no different.

Well no theres no comparison there at all, im almost 100% sure that me telling someone to piss off does not make other members feel left out.

Rob! · 16-10-2017, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josy

Well no theres no comparison there at all, im almost 100% sure that me telling someone to piss off does not make other members feel left out.

And I'm 100% sure that the chat that goes on in the chat thread does not make other members feel left out, demonstrated by the fact that new members always end up posting in there?

Josy · 16-10-2017, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob!

And I'm 100% sure that the chat that goes on in the chat thread does not make other members feel left out, demonstrated by the fact that new members always end up posting in there?

How can you be 100% sure when you yourself admitted you were ignored and also multiple members have said it throughout the thread.

Rob! · 16-10-2017, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josy

How can you be 100% sure when you yourself admitted you were ignored and also multiple members have said it throughout the thread.

Sure. Pick my post to pieces and remove only the sections that work for your argument that numerous people in here, including other mods have disagreed with. You can't just say it's alright for you to do it, but anyone else who does it is part of a clique, and making other people feel unwelcome. There's no difference at all. If you want an example of a clique, why the hell are there two chat threads anyway? Surely if clique forming is something you want to avoid, then it makes sense for us all to post in the same one, but the house of pablo is still standing. My point is at what stage does a group of people who get on chatting together go from group to clique in your mind?

Josy · 16-10-2017, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob!

Sure. Pick my post to pieces and remove only the sections that work for your argument that numerous people in here, including other mods have disagreed with. You can't just say it's alright for you to do it, but anyone else who does it is part of a clique, and making other people feel unwelcome. There's no difference at all. If you want an example of a clique, why the hell are there two chat threads anyway? Surely if clique forming is something you want to avoid, then it makes sense for us all to post in the same one, but the house of pablo is still standing. My point is at what stage does a group of people who get on chatting together go from group to clique in your mind?

No one said being friends with others was cliquey behaviour rob...

Rob! · 16-10-2017, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josy

No one said being friends with others was cliquey behaviour rob...

But that's exactly what we're being accused of?

Josy · 16-10-2017, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob!

But that's exactly what we're being accused of?

No it isnt, not sure about others in the thread but ive never compared being friends with people to clique behaviour infact you seem to be the one doing that.

Vicky. · 16-10-2017, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob!

Sure. Pick my post to pieces and remove only the sections that work for your argument that numerous people in here, including other mods have disagreed with.

I don't think theres any need to keep emphasising this 'other mods' part tbh. Believe it or not, the mod/admin team are not a hive mind and actually disagree on a fairly regular basis...so really what other mods have said has no bearing on your convo with josy

That said, again I dont see what josy has said thats so bad? Again to bring up...you are simultaneosly claiming that the regular chat thread posters never ignore anyone, and that when you started posting there you were ignored.

As I have said a couple of times in the thread, yes the chat threads can seem cliquey from the outside looking in. When you read through them and regularly see new people being ignored. Yes, if the poster persists then they tend to also end up 'part of the gang' for want of better words. But the being ignored at the start still did happen (which you and others admit yourselves). Which is why people reading it for the first time can be put off posting (maybe along with the OTT graphic sex talk, which thankfully seems to have been moved to PM recently rather than the main thread). As there is a large chance, that they will actually be ignored, even just to start with. Noone wants to be ignored...I think we can agree on that part at least

Yes, it can be the same in other areas of the forum too. Yes this happens naturally when groups of friends are chatting together. Yes, if people ignore being ignored and just keep at it, they will not be ignored anymore. And yes maybe ignoring people is not actually meant. But it happens...as has been agreed on. This does not mean it is an intentional thing or that y'all are doing it to be mean or whatever. Just trying (yet again) to explain what its like when you are not a regular.

I posted in the chat thread yesterday, as a regular member but not a regular chat thread poster and seemed welcomed with open arms (though this may have just been 1. As I am a mod and 2. As I was being extremely negative about a member most dislike) so it is not always that non-regulars are ignored. There also seems to have been more of an effort to get new people to actually join in on the thread, which is a great thing. But to deny it happens, whilst admitting it happens, is a little silly

Finally, I think some of this argument may possibly be a bit of a disconnect with what clique means. Again, as discovered earlier in the thread...to me it means fairly tight nit friendship group. To others it seems to mean mean girls type friendship group who will actively be awful to people outside that group.

Marsh. · 16-10-2017, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josy

How can you be 100% sure when you yourself admitted you were ignored and also multiple members have said it throughout the thread.

There's a difference between feeling ignored and like a spare part as a new member who isn't as familiar with members as a regular poster is and actually consciously being excluded from a thread or a discussion.