[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It wasn't me who "said wot got said", though, all I did was point out what I see as heavy handed and emotionally driven moderating. The response to which was... Some more heavy handed and emotionally driven moderating.

Except, you are completely wrong, as it is just an assumption that is was niamh. I have just got back from a party with my daughter and the thread had grown by hundreds of posts, read through it, saw all of the nonsense and locked it to delete the nonsense (and yes, the personal comment to niamh, which I am actually considering giving an outright ban for as it was very below the belt and that member only ever comes on to have a go at mods anyway), then re-opened it, as is pretty standard.

Figured it was fine for me to do this, as I had barely been involved in the thread, and was definitely not involved in the bickering stuff.

But no doubt I was still wrong.

As for

My personal opinion on this is that the forum is now at a point where mods need to choose between being a non-staff member, or being a mod and staying impartial in contentious threads.

Good luck finding someone willing to moderate who does not post.

I have been asking for a while to be de-modded as I just cannot be arsed with the way we are always in the wrong and accused of being biased, and how some members seem to think we should not have opinions as mods.

I genuinely am sick to the back teeth of this forum and how nothing is ever right and stuff.

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Except, you are completely wrong, as it is just an assumption that is was niamh. I have just got back from a party with my daughter and the thread had grown by hundreds of posts, read through it, saw all of the nonsense and locked it to delete the nonsense (and yes, the personal comment to niamh, which I am actually considering giving an outright ban for as it was very below the belt and that member only ever comes on to have a go at mods anyway), then re-opened it, as is pretty standard.

Figured it was fine for me to do this, as I had barely been involved in the thread, and was definitely not involved in the bickering stuff.

But no doubt I was still wrong.

As for



Good luck finding someone willing to moderate who does not post.

I have been asking for a while to be de-modded as I just cannot be arsed with the way we are always in the wrong and accused of being biased, and how some members seem to think we should not have opinions as mods.

I genuinely am sick to the back teeth of this forum and how nothing is ever right and stuff.

Oh please do. I've called you transphobic on here before... and you agreed you are and said thank you... so when do you get your hands slapped for moderating a thread about transphobia and removing and banning those who don't appreciate or agree with your bigoted views.

You can call people who are in transition "blokes in dresses" but I'm below the belt? Sure. This is why threads like this exist... because of actions like yours.

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Mokka

Oh please do. I've called you transphobic on here before... and you agreed you are and said thank you... so when do you get your hands slapped for moderating a thread about transphobia and removing and banning those who don't appreciate or agree with your bigoted views.

You can call people who are in transition "blokes in dresses" but I'm below the belt? Sure. This is why threads like this exist... because of actions like yours.

Absolutely you were below the belt. Call people for their views thats fine but what right on earth do you have to single out a person and question peoples parenting? Bang out of order. Wrong on all levels. I've actually never seen anyone, as heated things get on here stoop that low before

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Mokka

Oh please do. I've called you transphobic on here before... and you agreed you are and said thank you... so when do you get your hands slapped for moderating a thread about transphobia and removing and banning those who don't appreciate or agree with your bigoted views.

You can call people who are in transition "blokes in dresses" but I'm below the belt? Sure. This is why threads like this exist... because of actions like yours.

The thing is Mokka, I reckon that there are a few people on this forum for whom your remark in the other thread COULD apply, but neither Niamh nor Vicky are them. I fundamentally disagree with a lot of the rhetoric on trans issues in SD these days (and make a conscious and concerted effort to stay out of it), but not for a second would I ever think either of them would fall guilty to the accusation you were levelling, they are nowhere near the kind of people you're painting them to be and that's why it came across so badly. You are, IMO, directing your anger at the wrong people.

I did however agree with the larger discussion about the kind of atmosphere that has been fostered in these types of threads. But that's a wider issue, and not one that can be narrowed down to a couple of mods.

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Jack_

The thing is Mokka, I reckon that there are a few people on this forum for whom your remark in the other thread COULD apply, but neither Niamh nor Vicky are them. I fundamentally disagree with a lot of the rhetoric on trans issues in SD these days (and make a conscious and concerted effort to stay out of it), but not for a second would I ever think either of them would fall guilty to the accusation you were levelling, they are nowhere near the kind of people you're painting them to be and that's why it came across so badly. You are, IMO, directing your anger at the wrong people.

I did however agree with the larger discussion about the kind of atmosphere that has been fostered in these types of threads. But that's a wider issue, and not one that can be narrowed down to a couple of mods.

My response was directly to a few phrases I read over multiple pages by Niamh. My own trans kid is a member on this site and saw what I was posting as we discussed it and conversed about it as it was happening... and if they are proud of their mother having their back.. that's all I need. I just am sickened by the turn this site has taken over the last few months.. propping up and patting the backs of those setting the anti-trans rhetoric.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Mokka

My response was directly to a few phrases I read over multiple pages by Niamh. My own trans kid is a member on this site and saw what I was posting as we discussed it and conversed about it as it was happening... and if they are proud of their mother having their back.. that's all I need. I just am sickened by the turn this site has taken over the last few months.. propping up and patting the backs of those setting the anti-trans rhetoric.

I didnt see your comment..

But there was a pretty large conversation about the exact thing you are 'sickened' by, many are in that same boat. you could have contributed to that - and with your experience, your contribution would have been pretty unique and interesting.

But instead, it looks like youd sooner discuss someones parenting skills.. which is odd and pretty cruel.

Trans rights on tibb are not where they should be. That, imo, is not down to individuals, theres a pretty vocal group. That discussion still needs to be had tbh.

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Mokka

My response was directly to a few phrases I read over multiple pages by Niamh. My own trans kid is a member on this site and saw what I was posting as we discussed it and conversed about it as it was happening... and if they are proud of their mother having their back.. that's all I need. I just am sickened by the turn this site has taken over the last few months.. propping up and patting the backs of those setting the anti-trans rhetoric.

Do you know what though, the debates on this site about trans topics have educated some people. Just because you have first hand experience of a subject does not give you the right to decide how another member would handle it. If anyone questioned your parenting, without knowing a damn thing about you other than what you've posted during debates how would you feel? I'm glad you feel vindicated as a parent by belittling and insulting someone else.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Mokka

My response was directly to a few phrases I read over multiple pages by Niamh. My own trans kid is a member on this site and saw what I was posting as we discussed it and conversed about it as it was happening... and if they are proud of their mother having their back.. that's all I need. I just am sickened by the turn this site has taken over the last few months.. propping up and patting the backs of those setting the anti-trans rhetoric.

I can't say I saw anything incendiary or offensive by Niamh in that thread personally, there were FAR worse things being said by other members...as usual. But I appreciate that your mileage may vary, and with such a personal stake in this topic I can see why you reacted. That said, I stand by what I said - neither of them, in the almost ten years I've been on this forum, have ever struck me as the kind of people (and indeed parents) who would treat a trans person (their child or otherwise) without the respect and/or love that they deserve.

I totally understand and agree that the discourse and atmosphere in threads on gender hasn't been very pleasant on this forum for quite a while now, and like I said, that's why I've made a conscious decision to avoid partaking in them - despite it being a huge passion of mine and my favourite area of research, study and debate. When you have a personal stake in the discussion (though mine is of course far, far, far removed and different from yours) it makes it all the more emotive, and let's be honest, it's an emotive enough topic on all sides as it is. That's in part why I think it has reached the stage that is has, but unfortunately that's led to a lack of productive discourse, and heated exchanges like this today.

But again, I must reiterate, despite all of that - and although I completely understand and sympathise with the position you're coming from, I think your target is the wrong one.