[GypsyGoth]

I've been bullied and I bullied someone.

[Z]

I find it a bit of a ridiculous assumption that bullies are bullying someone because they're insecure - if anything bullying behaviour happens because people want to gain the approval of someone else. A variety of examples: guys being confrontational towards guys they see as threats to the relationship they're trying to build with a woman they want to impress; an inherent intolerance for a specific aspect of a person's personality - whether it be an aspect of their appearance, gender, sexual preference, race, religion et cetera; one work colleague demeaning another because they're trying to look like a better employee in the eyes of a manager...

I could go on inventing hypothetical (but very real) examples.

I think, unfortunately, bullying is something that most of us have to go through. The severity of bullying is subject to the bully, the victim and the observer's perspective as well - a bully might beat a victim to a pulp and justify it in their mind because they "deserved it"; on the other hand a bully might say something derogatory about a victim's appearance in a passing remark and not think any more of it - but the victim is absolutely in pieces over the comment and sees it as bullying.

I was bullied to an extent during my early school years for my appearance (glasses, fat) but, luckily for me, it was only the occasional comment which I managed to rise above by not taking them seriously, playing along to some extent and generally making it impossible for them to find a flaw in my response to pick away at. The worst that happened to me was somebody hid my P.E. bag once, found it a few days later after searching the school with my year head. I got accused of bullying a girl in my year who was, to put it politely, extremely sensitive and craved attention - she accused a lot of people of bullying her and eventually stopped getting taken seriously because of her constant complaining.

I don't think there's any easy way to overcome bullying. People will be cruel if they want to be cruel. A lot of people are mean in their early teens but grow out of it and tend to feel bad for what they did in their younger years, but some people never grow out of that mentality and will always be bullies...

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Tom

Just made up but judging by characteristics of a typical bully and if people have problems with how skinny they are then they know where the gym is

Sorry to sound blunt but its how it is. Its sad and sounds terrible but there are bigger problems in life. People grow out of it. its just part of growing up

I do understand what you're saying but you have to understand that everyone doesn't think like you do or have the same self belief and self confidence as you have

[BB_Eye]

Originally Posted by Tom

Just made up but judging by characteristics of a typical bully and if people have problems with how skinny they are then they know where the gym is

Sorry to sound blunt but its how it is. Its sad and sounds terrible but there are bigger problems in life. People grow out of it. its just part of growing up

Totally meaningless cliches. This is why people need to be educated on bullying. Bullying happens, because a target of bullying cannot defend themselves and there are people who don't know any better that leap to the defense of a bully. Classic victim blaming.

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by Zee

I find it a bit of a ridiculous assumption that bullies are bullying someone because they're insecure - if anything bullying behaviour happens because people want to gain the approval of someone else. A variety of examples: guys being confrontational towards guys they see as threats to the relationship they're trying to build with a woman they want to impress; an inherent intolerance for a specific aspect of a person's personality - whether it be an aspect of their appearance, gender, sexual preference, race, religion et cetera; one work colleague demeaning another because they're trying to look like a better employee in the eyes of a manager...

I could go on inventing hypothetical (but very real) examples.

I think, unfortunately, bullying is something that most of us have to go through. The severity of bullying is subject to the bully, the victim and the observer's perspective as well - a bully might beat a victim to a pulp and justify it in their mind because they "deserved it"; on the other hand a bully might say something derogatory about a victim's appearance in a passing remark and not think any more of it - but the victim is absolutely in pieces over the comment and sees it as bullying.

I was bullied to an extent during my early school years for my appearance (glasses, fat) but, luckily for me, it was only the occasional comment which I managed to rise above by not taking them seriously, playing along to some extent and generally making it impossible for them to find a flaw in my response to pick away at. The worst that happened to me was somebody hid my P.E. bag once, found it a few days later after searching the school with my year head. I got accused of bullying a girl in my year who was, to put it politely, extremely sensitive and craved attention - she accused a lot of people of bullying her and eventually stopped getting taken seriously because of her constant complaining.

I don't think there's any easy way to overcome bullying. People will be cruel if they want to be cruel. A lot of people are mean in their early teens but grow out of it and tend to feel bad for what they did in their younger years, but some people never grow out of that mentality and will always be bullies...

All of the things I've bolded ARE examples of insecurity

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Shaun

All of the things I've bolded ARE examples of insecurity

You saved me a job.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by BB_Eye

Totally meaningless cliches. This is why people need to be educated on bullying. Bullying happens, because a target of bullying cannot defend themselves and there are people who don't know any better that leap to the defense of a bully. Classic victim blaming.

Bullying starts small with a few digs and if there is no retaliation then it will escalate and escalate until it becomes more serious and more people get involved. Its mainly psychological, not physical.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Tom

Bullying starts small with a few digs and if there is no retaliation then it will escalate and escalate until it becomes more serious and more people get involved. Its mainly psychological, not physical.

Not always, alot of times its groups of people who pick out a weak person so straight away you're up against a gang

[Mystic Mock]

ive been bullied at least 3 times and 2 of them tried to kill me and the other one i punched him in the face,anyway bullies are sad and pathetic.

[Angus]

I have to say that I was never bullied because I would thump anyone who thumped me, which goes to prove the point that the only way to fight fire is with fire. I never went looking for trouble, but I always stood my ground, even if I was terrified inside

I told my sons,both of whom were bullied in primary school for a short while, that if a bully hit them, hit them back twice as hard (preferably out of sight of any meddling teacher who might get hold of the wrong end of the stick) - not conventional, politically correct advice, but extremely effective in that the bullying ceased instantly. In other words, don't take any sh*t from anyone. I should add that this advice was given to them by me after the school failed to do anything to stop it - in fact telling my sons to stay away from their bullies, rather than compelling the bullies to stay away from my sons!

[BB_Eye]

Originally Posted by Tom

Bullying starts small with a few digs and if there is no retaliation then it will escalate and escalate until it becomes more serious and more people get involved. Its mainly psychological, not physical.

You're right, but psychological bullying runs on the same principles. By this, I mean most adult bullies. Isolate, weaken and subjugate your target. Some folk can give as good as they get and fairplay to them, but bullies are not interested in these sorts of people.

[Patrick]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

I've been bullied and I bullied someone.

Woah.

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Patrick

Woah.

she bullies me all the time she pokes me, it hurts and when I ask her to stop she says no

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Tom

Bullying starts small with a few digs and if there is no retaliation then it will escalate and escalate until it becomes more serious and more people get involved. Its mainly psychological, not physical.

I read in your first post that you've never been bullied. And yet you sum up the solution so simply. If it was so black and white it wouldn't be the enormous problem that is is now. Bullying goes much deeper than you know, although you are right about it being psychological, which can be a lot more terrifying than getting thumped. If you retaliate the bully tries harder, and if you retaliate well and humiliate them in some way, it goes off the scale. I was bullied at school, which I admit was a while ago now LOL... but I have never forgotten the sense of hopelessness, powerless and total isolation. I am very different now, personally and professionally. I would never let anyone screw with me now, but at 13... it was like a waking nightmare.

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by Patrick

Woah.

It was about three years ago, and although I did it to please someone else, looking back I really should have known better.

Originally Posted by Ninastar

she bullies me all the time she pokes me, it hurts and when I ask her to stop she says no

It's for your own good.

[Princess]

Bullies would probably be one of the things I hate most in life. I was bullied in both primary and secondary,for being little and for being weird or different or whatever else. I was an easy target really. They're assholes really,they just take their issues out on someone who doesn't deserve it.

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

It was about three years ago, and although I did it to please someone else, looking back I really should have known better.



It's for your own good.

if you say so

[MTVN]

Some of these stories are quite sad actually

I've been really lucky to never have been bullied, the worst I've had is the odd bit of name-calling and even then it's more in jest than anything. I really cant stand bullies though, and I particularly hate seeing people getting bullied.

It's quite weird how acceptable bullying is really, "mild" bullying anyway. I was probably guilty of it myself, when our friend group used to wind up another bunch of kids. I always thought of it as just a bit of fun, and it was mainly minor stuff, but it went too far sometimes, and I suddenly had a moment of realisation that I was being a bit of a bully. I stopped after that, and I'm on quite good terms with the people I used to do it to.

[Captain.Remy]

Yeah I was back in the day, I was about 10. I was fat and all but after a big diet, I went back and I got my sweet revenge. I didn't hurt them, I've enjoyed watching them failing their studies and life right in front of me yet some had the balls to ask me for help.

Payback is a bitch, you should have known I was the wrong person to fuck with.
To make it clear, they threw everything at me but I threw one thing back, bleach, and they all ran like roaches because when Remy tells you to shut the fuck up, you'd better shut the fuck up or you're going to get fucked. They didn't see that coming and also the fact I became much more popular than them.

At the end of the day, I don't care about them anymore, I run my thing, I'm doing good, they're not and that's it, I'm done with them.

[Jack_]

I personally think it's disgusting and it baffles me as to why some people do it, enjoy doing it, or don't seem to realise the full extent of the psychological damage they're doing. When you consider that extreme, prolonged bullying can lead to a victim committing suicide - I find it odd that bullies don't take a step back and realise 'woah, we need to stop here'. It's actually quite disturbing.

I wouldn't say I've ever been properly bullied, I have had the odd 'dirty look' from the so-called 'popular kids', you know the one where they 'look down' on you - basically it's their way of making themselves feel better about themselves - cause at the end of the day they're probably the ones who go home and cry about their insecurities in front of the mirror. And that's the most pleasing thing about bullies - knowing that they're more often than not the ones with the problems and that they are too weak, ignorant and pathetic to sort themselves out so instead they have to resort to picking on the weaker in order to strengthen their self-confidence and massage their ego.

I often take a step back in situations [on this forum as well] and re-evaluate what I'm about to say, saying, or about to do/doing...because I worry whether it's crossing the line over into bullying. I would hate to be classed as a bully, or have people insinuate that I'm a bully - because that's the last thing I am. But there is a line between joking around and patronising someone [which, I'll admit - I do] and then being a bully. It's just getting the balance right. The thought of ever being the person that just tips someone 'over the edge' to a point where they do something life-threatening is a very scary thought to me.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

It is disgusting.

And to think it happens on a forum too.

Happens everywhere really. Except the people who do it on forums haven't got the balls to say it to my face. They know they can get away with it.

I was bullied, people calling me gay, fat, feminine, sausage fingers...etc etc.

You name it. People taking the piss out of my ears, my hair colour, the way I speak.

I just got isolated so had no friends at school for like 2 years. I'd just spend my break-times in the boys' toilets with the door closed hoping no one would come in. Then at lunchtimes I'd go in the ICT room.

I was more bothered about people thinking I didn't have friends, and I didn't, but I hated the looks I'd get as I walked round school on my own trying to cling on to people like I was part of their clang.

I even got bullied from a lad who was a couple of years younger than me once. I had to stop myself from being violent towards him. Rise above it. There were these two girls who were really nasty as well.

Lots of people bullied me, though, so it is hard to pin point.

It didn't stop when I left school into full time work either. I got called the green giant and all sorts of stuff.

Some people can stick up for themselves, but I'm not like that. I will just bottle it all up inside.

Patrick, that is very sad. PM me if you ever need to. You have my msn, but I'm sure you blocked me.

[_Seth]

Originally Posted by Patrick

the worst part is the teachers SEE it going on with their very eyes and do ****** all about it.

OMG that is so true. Teachers should specifically look out for it. I used to hate it when the teacher would leave the room and mayhem would start.

Bullies are ****ing idiots, it's all about being insecure and fun going too far.

I've never been bullied badly. When I have, it's been by girls, and for someone if someone was born with tits and a fadge, you can't hit them. But that bullsh!t sexism didn't stop me once.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

I personally think it's disgusting and it baffles me as to why some people do it, enjoy doing it, or don't seem to realise the full extent of the psychological damage they're doin

They don't realise at all.

I think it is why I'm the way I am today because of all the bullying.

I can't walk down the street without thinking someone is probably judging badly on my ginger hair or fatness. Going to the extreme, even my freckles. And If I wasn't made to feel like the way I do today by past bullying then I don't think I'd be as bad.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Phlip

OMG that is so true. Teachers should specifically look out for it. I used to hate it when the teacher would leave the room and mayhem would start.

Bullies are ****ing idiots, it's all about being insecure and fun going too far.

I've never been bullied badly. When I have, it's been by girls, and for someone if someone was born with tits and a fadge, you can't hit them. But that bullsh!t sexism didn't stop me once.

oh i hit 3 girls who were bullying me once ( they were in year 6 while i was in year 2) and i lost in the end because all 3 of them launched themselfs at me,but i sure did give them a fight.

[LemonJam]

I used to stand up for kids that did get bullied at school because I didn't like people being picked on over something that they are. Of course in turn this never really made me very popular but I'd rather be disliked for that than following the crowd.