[Maru]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

I do know exactly where you are coming from with the 'voice' point Paul, because I have met a lot of gay men who DO have a very distinct voice and manner of speaking; pitch, tone, inflexions - the lot.

It's very strange, because it does not seem to matter where such gay me come from either - I have met Geordies, Scousers, Tykes and Brummies, even Northern Irish Gay men who all had the same type of voices and way of speaking etc.

It is not 'effeminate' in any 'Larry Grayson'/ Alan Carr way, but yet there is a 'quality' there.

Anyway, I know what you mean.

Yeah I think at best it's a 'clue' to consider... there's no exact science to it.

My husband's brother's voice 'changed' after coming out... so I think to some degree, it's to fit into the stereotype/box or play the role or whatever... I've heard some gay men say that that annoys them.

I'm white and yet I grew up around hispanics so I have a Houston accent with a bit of latina mixed in at times... so I've been told. But then there are hispanics who are just as white as me (maybe moreso)... that have more of a Spanish heritage, whereas many Mexicans have more of the native American blood mixed in so they look browner... you really can't judge a book by it's cover.

I was told I was a lesbian often growing up because I had the knowledge that I have, for wearing athletic clothes, being a tom boy, fixing computers, etc... I didn't pay it any mind. I laugh my way to the bank because those things that made me 'different' are major assets to standing out in a highly competitive field. Fitting in is a serious handicap in life so I've learned through life experience. So... jokes on them, because I didn't give into stereotypes... now the roles have reversed... it's cool to be you, to buck the trend so to speak, cool to be nerdy, say **** you to gender stereotypes... etc

Oh and I can't tell if a woman is a lesbian or not... I usually find out through a conversation. Anywhere from "why are guys so dumb?" type conversations ...or "Have you tried running this on your computer? It's pretty cool..." or... "By the way, you're hot!"... etc

One of my friends in HS that didn't really judge me was a friend who came out to me as a 'lesbian'... he was confused then, but later found out he was transgender. I figured he was just like any other person before then... just really sporty. I knew a girl then too that played basketball like no tomorrow... Anyway, she was treated similar to myself for being sporty. She had a child out of wedlock some years back, but she is so happy now and her family really supports her. Her father was a substitute teacher and we used to talk nerd crap. I pretty much talk to anyone who will listen...