[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

So i was just watching this video of this gay guy coming out to his Conservative Christian Dad.

You could tell how hard it was for the lad and his dad actually took it really well.His dad said he'd 'had his suspicions' and I lol'd at that because it's blatantly obvious that he's gay.He's not acting particularly camp or extrovert but he has all the mannerisms that you expect and the not so deep voice.
But then that got me thinking.Like at a guess 95% of the time you can tell when someone is gay.Not always but i'm pretty confident that i can usually always tell.Infact I don't think i've ever been wrong if i'm being honest.

So what is it that makes it so obvious most of the time?
I mean just because someone is attracted to the same sex shouldn't necessarily be coupled with a stereotype.But it is and it's not just a made up stereotype.It's actually there.
Now I don't believe all gays put it on.I know some flaunt it more but i think underneath that these traits would still be there.Just not so overtly.
Is it a gene that gives these traits along with the same sex attraction?
Or is it maybe less testosterone and more estrogen?
Or something else?
Anyone studied this stuff?

The fact that there are a lot of guys where you wouldn't know or think that they're gay makes the logic behind the 95% kind of faulty, where do they factor in? How can they be qualified in order to put them in the other 5% if you don't know that they are gay? You may hardly ever be wrong when it's something that crosses your mind about someone, but what about all the men you see and meet who are gay and it never even crosses your mind they might be? Basically what you're saying is why are most camp men gay, right? And I'd say that it has less to do with specific personalities of gay people, and more to do with straight guys generally repressing their camp sides. There's a stigma still to being camp so it makes more sense that that would be the case, because I think where there's a stigma, it's generally the people who are more likely to be judged incorrectly that are going to have a wariness of it/be affected by it (conscious or subconscious)... and there's less reason a gay man would feel that stigma than a straight man (since the stigma is appearing gay). Obviously all of that's generalisations too and that's why there's no 100% rule that covers everyone, I mean you see it a lot in the gay community too, the 'straight acting' gay which is just someone who tries not to act camp/takes pride in not being 'spotted' etc. It's all stupid really but it all plays into it. I also think the process of 'coming out', if it's a positive experience, it makes you care less what people think of you and can give you more self confidence, all of which could also result in caring less about appearing camp, and obviously straight people don't get to experience that.
Campness is just a personality trait at the end of the day, nothing more, and it's not necessarily a case of just whether or not you have the trait, but also what life experiences you've had/haven't had that would affect whether or not you're confident in expressing it.