[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

Pursuing a relationship with a married person will never ever be "justifiable" to me. In any way. People can tell themselves they're doing nothing wrong because they're not the one in the relationship but that's just a load of twaddle to make themselves feel better about the horrible thing they're doing, in my eyes.

But they aren't the one in a relationship, so it isn't 'twaddle', it's true. If you are single, you can get with whoever you want, whenever you want, as many times as you want. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, so long as you are not jeopardising a relationship with or hurting someone you made a commitment to yourself, your actions are much more justifiable than the ones who did.

Are you a bit of an inconsiderate ****? Sure. Are your morals questionable? Sure. But have you cheated on someone yourself? No, which is the worst part of any instances of cheating. No other immoral actions come close to the direct issue of cheating on someone you made a commitment to.

Yeah but none of this applies to my stance on the subject. I'm happy to call a male "bit on the side" a homewrecker too.

It absolutely applies because this culture and attitude is what it stems from, sexism and patriarchy. Prostitutes being blamed for ruining relationships when they were just doing their job, single women being abused and being called 'homewreckers' by the girlfriend while the man gets let off the hook. Disgusting nonsense that has to stop.

Okay, so in the cases when an affair completely destroys a family, the "other person" isn't deserving of a single ounce of blame for that? None at all? Well I don't understand that notion whatsoever, since the affair was perpetuated by two people.

Quite frankly imo, the one thing that makes someone who pursues a relationship with a married person worse is one who refuses to accept their share of the blame. We'll have to agree to disagree since we're clearly on entirely opposite sides of the spectrum on this debate.

Not at all, because they were not the one in a relationship. They never made a commitment to anyone, and as such, are a free agent allowed to do what they wish. It is no one's responsibility but your own to not cheat on your partner. Relationships are two-way bubble, if yours is ruined it is your fault and your fault only. No outsider can play any part in your relationship and the responsibility you have to respect them and not to cheat on them.