[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

So in a nutshell, it's "justifiable" to be a part of hurting and utterly disrespecting someone if it's not somebody you've made a commitment to? It's "justifiable" to play a role in possible destroying a family because you're not the one who made a promise to them?

You are twisting this to make it look like I think such actions are morally right, or actions of a nice person. I'm not, I have made that clear.

But is it justifiable to get with someone that you like, when you are not in a relationship and are not hurting anyone that you made a commitment to? Yes, because you are free to do so.

Jack, I said it doesn't apply to me, my opinion on the matter has absolutely nothing to do with all of this. Sure, there are people who blame the other person more than the married person but I'm not one of them. I've explained my stance on it very clearly more than once.

It's not just blaming them more than the cheater though, it's blaming them at all. It's just that the latter often results in the former. The victims of cheating need to direct their anger straight at the person who went against the terms of their relationship, and no one else. Passing or sharing the blame out just gives the cheater an opportunity to defend their actions, and opens the door for this ridiculous sexism I've highlighted to rear its ugly head. It has to stop.

Yeah, there's clearly nothing more for us to discuss on the matter, I don't understand this view on the matter whatsoever, and to be honest I hope I never do.

Likewise, I hope I'm not ever complicit in facilitating patriarchy, or allowing someone who has cheated and broken the terms of a serious commitment they made to their partner to be given an opportunity to justify their behaviour.