[Rob!]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

No. The TL is unrelated to this thread.

She knows where her bread is buttered

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Rob!

She knows where her bread is buttered

The Truth impact on Rob!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Yes I think so but at the mo he is looking at the whole years worth of woe and turmoil and all the friends stuff and hassle and thinking "oh fck I do not want to go through all that"

Yeah I can understand that, seperating after that long will be tough and a bit of an ordeal but once he gets through it he may just be happy that it happened. I can't think of anything worse then to be stuck in a rut with someone who doesn't interest you or who doesn't share the same priorities and some interests

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yeah I can understand that, seperating after that long will be tough and a bit of an ordeal but once he gets through it he may just be happy that it happened. I can't think of anything worse then to be stuck in a rut with someone who doesn't interest you or who doesn't share the same priorities and some interests

His therapist said to him "when xxxx gets home from work at 10 and you hear the door open what do you immediately think?" He replied "oh fck no"

I told him that perhaps that was not a very positive reaction and he agreed..

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

His therapist said to him "when xxxx gets home from work at 10 and you hear the door open what do you immediately think?" He replied "oh fck no"

I told him that perhaps that was not a very positive reaction and he agreed..

Oh Dear, that's pretty telling eh? No harm she's moved in with her boss

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Oh we all know why this is.

ˇOoh Julio, usted tiene una gran pollo!

Loose translation ...Julio you have a big chicken

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

His therapist said to him "when xxxx gets home from work at 10 and you hear the door open what do you immediately think?" He replied "oh fck no"

I told him that perhaps that was not a very positive reaction and he agreed..

so why is he so bothered she wanted space, at least she actually did something about it rather than plodding along

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Cherie

so why is he so bothered she wanted space, at least she actually did something about it rather than plodding along

Well i think he would have more preferred he to sit down and talk rather than say "oh im leaving"

I think its over and I guess there is no easy way for these things and it will always be messy.

Still i cant lay into her as they may get back together

[Paula D]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

incorrect, its science

Dr. Orbuch recently analyzed one year of data from her study and found more wives than husbands (31% versus 26%) reported not having enough space. She believes this is because women often have less time to themselves than men. Even when women have jobs outside the home, they still are typically the primary caregivers of children or aging parents. And because they also tend to have more friends than men, they often have more social obligations.

http://jezebel.com/5919869/if-you-ne...-need-my-space

That's wardrobe space they meant!!

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Well i think he would have more preferred he to sit down and talk rather than say "oh im leaving"

I think its over and I guess there is no easy way for these things and it will always be messy.

Still i cant lay into her as they may get back together

I doubt they will she sounds bored out of her brain, I say well done her it can't have been easy to climb out of that rut.
If his reaction when she came home was 'oh fk no' then maybe he's just disappointed at the disruption to his routine?

Life is short and if you finish work at 10 and come home to someone who has the 'oh fk no' face then I say turn around, walk straight out and don't look back!

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I doubt they will she sounds bored out of her brain, I say well done her it can't have been easy to climb out of that rut.
If his reaction when she came home was 'oh fk no' then maybe he's just disappointed at the disruption to his routine?

Life is short and if you finish work at 10 and come home to someone who has the 'oh fk no' face then I say turn around, walk straight out and don't look back!

Or maybe its because she comes home with a face like a slapped arse rolls a joint drinks wine and moans about work and never asks him about his day?

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Well i think he would have more preferred he to sit down and talk rather than say "oh im leaving"


Isn't that the time for him to say let's talk?


I think its over and I guess there is no easy way for these things and it will always be messy.

Still i cant lay into her as they may get back together

Best stay out of it in all honesty

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Or maybe its because she comes home with a face like a slapped arse rolls a joint drinks wine and moans about work and never asks him about his day?

The rural scottish idyll

[caprimint]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

His therapist said to him "when xxxx gets home from work at 10 and you hear the door open what do you immediately think?" He replied "oh fck no"

I told him that perhaps that was not a very positive reaction and he agreed..

I guess it's the fact that they've been together for so long that he kind of doesn't want to lose that feeling of 'having someone there' even though it sounds like it's not the right person?

[Kyle]

Tell him to buck his ideas up and get himself a Playstation.

Never once has my PS4 told me I'm an idiot for leaving the wet washing in a washing machine for too long. She appreciates me.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Tell him to buck his ideas up and get himself a Playstation.

Never once has my PS4 told me I'm an idiot for leaving the wet washing in a washing machine for too long. She appreciates me.

And she doesn't complain when you sit in front of her in your clothes that now smell like wet dog

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

And she doesn't complain when you sit in front of her in your clothes that now smell like wet dog

Hey now that's enough of that, I'm trying to help the poor bloke here Nee.

We've had 3 pages of feely feely femsplaining and now it's time for a man to step in and offer some practical solutions.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I did tell him that the answers would be found at the bottom of a good tumbler full of whisky

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I have no doubt men are guilty of using this line too

To me it would mean that the person is not happy in the relationship and it's either the first step to them breaking it off or they really are confused and need time to decide what they want to do?

I think if by "some space" they mean they want to go on a break ala Ross geller style, I'd be telling them take it all the space they need but don't come back

I agree with this generally... though I think a lot of times, people are actually sure they know what's best, but they don't want to lose out on something they invested in, so they ask for space to get a clearer picture of what they want... (usually out of good intentions but it's an act of denial).

I also notice in codependent relationships or relationships where there is smothering/controlling behavior going on... the weaker of the two sometimes asks for space, and then they don't know what to do with the freedom and are more emotionally vulnerable (relatively speaking here)... and may end up having a little bit of fun on the side... funny enough, the stronger link (usually the one doing the smothering) usually takes responsibility for "fixing it", forgives them and they go back... or it falls apart at the seams... though they don't usually last... I've seen that happen with friends whose lives are all sorts of stupidly complicated because they don't know understand the point of boundaries and do lots of "fixing" to each other instead of dealing with their issues...

Though in general I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for space. If you're otherwise good with each other, but the other person actually does need space to assess their actual priorities, it can really strengthen a relationship and make a good foundation for a long-term relationship (or marriage). I gave my husband 7 years to change his mind before we finally tied the knot.

[Ammi]

...when people say they need space in that context, I often find that what they actually need is to talk/communicate and maybe that's what they haven't been doing enough of..?..just both doing their own thing and not giving themselves any quality time as a couple...it's sad, they may work it out but a lot of communication seems to be the thing that is needed, the 'grass may seem greener' for her atm but that could just be a reactionary/attention thing and that's what needs to be addressed...relationships/marriages etc need to be worked on, they don't just flourish and sustain on their own without that..just drifting along can very much be, not drifting in the same direction and then these things can sadly happen..anyways I don't think that whisky is the answer, I think communication is to find out if their future can be with each other or no..../sometimes people just fall out of love as well...

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Josy

Its not you its me

I agree