[Garfie]

Originally Posted by vesavius

Exactly.

She demands empathy, understanding and respect of others but gives zero in return.

I agree very much with the sentiment that empathy, understanding and respect works both ways. I understand why Ali might find this more challenging than most and respect that, but she is of high intelligence and her achievements and career would suggest she has a good capacity to learn. In fact, I would imagine those qualities are important in being a successful psychologist.

In the same way I have tried to understand Ali, I am trying to treat Khaled with equal understanding and respect. I don’t believe that demonstrating kindness, courtesy and compassion towards each other suggests someone is fake, devious or deceitful, even if they might appear to be trying too hard. If those were the worst crimes committed by the human race, I think the world would be a much happier place to live in.

I also wonder how many of those who judge Khaled so harshly have stopped to think about alternative explanations for his behaviour?

His early life experiences were in a country involved in conflict and he described growing up hearing bombings around him. As a young child, he must have been ultra-conscious of the dangers around him, alert to any sign of danger and fearful of how conflict could so easily escalate to a point of death and destruction. Therefore, it wouldn’t be unreasonable or irrational if he now feels the need to live with a sense of calm, stability and peace around him or why he has the urge to avoid confrontation and resolve conflict with others.