[AnnieK]

Having spent 10 years dealing with being unable to have a child in my 20s and going through multiple fertility treatments, I will say that I was always going to explore every avenue to be able to carry my own child before exploring any other options? Does that make me selfish? Possibly but it was what I wanted to do. After everything failed (IUI, IVF and IVF with ICSI), i did start to explore adoption and the process looked brutal. Thankfully, I did manage to fall pregnant naturally after everything and so didn't need to explore further but as with everything, it should always be down to the individual on how they manage their journey to parenthood - whatever it looks like.

I find it very uncomfortable to judge others - especially having met so many people struggling with infertility and how that affected them.

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Having spent 10 years dealing with being unable to have a child in my 20s and going through multiple fertility treatments, I will say that I was always going to explore every avenue to be able to carry my own child before exploring any other options? Does that make me selfish? Possibly but it was what I wanted to do. After everything failed (IUI, IVF and IVF with ICSI), i did start to explore adoption and the process looked brutal. Thankfully, I did manage to fall pregnant naturally after everything and so didn't need to explore further but as with everything, it should always be down to the individual on how they manage their journey to parenthood - whatever it looks like.

I find it very uncomfortable to judge others - especially having met so many people struggling with infertility and how that affected them.

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

it should always be down to the individual on how they manage their journey to parenthood - whatever it looks like.

I find it very uncomfortable to judge others

I 100% agree with the first part and I haven't said anything different here.

On the second part, we all judge each other continuously every day.

The entire model of Big Brother is built on that reality.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Having spent 10 years dealing with being unable to have a child in my 20s and going through multiple fertility treatments, I will say that I was always going to explore every avenue to be able to carry my own child before exploring any other options? Does that make me selfish? Possibly but it was what I wanted to do. After everything failed (IUI, IVF and IVF with ICSI), i did start to explore adoption and the process looked brutal. Thankfully, I did manage to fall pregnant naturally after everything and so didn't need to explore further but as with everything, it should always be down to the individual on how they manage their journey to parenthood - whatever it looks like.

I find it very uncomfortable to judge others - especially having met so many people struggling with infertility and how that affected them.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Having spent 10 years dealing with being unable to have a child in my 20s and going through multiple fertility treatments, I will say that I was always going to explore every avenue to be able to carry my own child before exploring any other options? Does that make me selfish? Possibly but it was what I wanted to do. After everything failed (IUI, IVF and IVF with ICSI), i did start to explore adoption and the process looked brutal. Thankfully, I did manage to fall pregnant naturally after everything and so didn't need to explore further but as with everything, it should always be down to the individual on how they manage their journey to parenthood - whatever it looks like.

I find it very uncomfortable to judge others - especially having met so many people struggling with infertility and how that affected them.

I tried to get pregnant for 5 years and nothing, had tests and stuff..found a cyst on my ovary but nothing else. Got pregnant finally and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Then got pregnant again a month after that with Skye. Then James a few months after having Skye. l never found out what was wrong but thankfully it didn't matter anymore. I feel for anyone going through this and I disagree that 'just adopt' is a great answer. Sounds selfish but I wanted one that was biologically mine

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I tried to get pregnant for 5 years and nothing, had tests and stuff..found a cyst on my ovary but nothing else. Got pregnant finally and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Then got pregnant again a month after that with Skye. Then James a few months after having Skye. l never found out what was wrong but thankfully it didn't matter anymore. I feel for anyone going through this and I disagree that 'just adopt' is a great answer. Sounds selfish but I wanted one that was biologically mine

I feel people are misunderstanding what I have been saying.

My point is that, IMO, the money spent forcing such a thing could be better spent improving the life of a child with no home and that choosing to spend that money on personal wants over the needs of a child doesn't feel right to me personally.

It doesn't sound like what I have been saying would fit your case at all?

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by vesavius

I feel people are misunderstanding what I have been saying.

My point is that, IMO, the money spent forcing such a thing could be better spent improving the life of a child with no home and that choosing to spend that money on personal wants over the needs of a child doesn't feel right to me personally.

It doesn't sound like what I have been saying would fit your case at all?

Yes the money could be spent giving a kid a good life, but you could apply that to anything? Why go on an expensive holiday, you could donate to food banks around the country to help others. And so on

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yes the money could be spent giving a kid a good life, but you could apply that to anything? Why go on an expensive holiday, you could donate to food banks around the country to help others. And so on

Someone that chose to donate money to, say, help a child rather than go on holiday would get all my love.

I love it when wealthy people choose to make the world better for others.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by vesavius

Someone that chose to donate money to, say, help a child rather than go on holiday would get all my love.

I love it when wealthy people make the world better for others.

Yea I agree with that actually

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yea I agree with that actually

It's basically at the core of everything I have been saying here

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Having spent 10 years dealing with being unable to have a child in my 20s and going through multiple fertility treatments, I will say that I was always going to explore every avenue to be able to carry my own child before exploring any other options? Does that make me selfish? Possibly but it was what I wanted to do. After everything failed (IUI, IVF and IVF with ICSI), i did start to explore adoption and the process looked brutal. Thankfully, I did manage to fall pregnant naturally after everything and so didn't need to explore further but as with everything, it should always be down to the individual on how they manage their journey to parenthood - whatever it looks like.

I find it very uncomfortable to judge others - especially having met so many people struggling with infertility and how that affected them.

……you’re the person that I’ve most been thinking about in this conversation also…my son and his partner also had fertility treatment intervention as well to conceive…

…I think that it was Niamh that said this is such a layered and wider debate and it is…adopting a baby is something that isn’t alway possible/an option and interestingly in this season of BB we have Elsa who was adopted as a three year old and that older child can have very specific parenting requirements as their childhood trauma/memories can have such an impact on their behaviour…and it’s a bit of a circle situation, isn’t it ….because the very reason that they are open for adoption is often because of parenting that was unable to care for, so the importance of having adopted parenting that can cater for that child’s specific individual needs and issues, is another layer of complexity…

…..BBxX and Vesavius, you’re both two posters that I do love to see discussing these more complex and layered topics as well because you do both approach differently in your mindsets and thoughts but you both equally make very interesting and considered points…and that gets us all listening…(…and learning and thinking…)…which is the perfect thing in a talking forum such as this…..

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by Ammi

BBxX and Vesavius, you’re both two posters that I do love to see discussing these more complex and layered topics as well because you do both approach differently in your mindsets and thoughts but you both equally make very interesting and considered points…and that gets us all listening…(…and learning and thinking…)…which is the perfect thing in a talking forum such as this…..

Thanks.

Yeah, I don't think anyone is a bad person from this, I have no issues with BBXX here because they see it differently. Disagreeing is fine