[BBXX]

Originally Posted by vesavius

I think it's ok to be a bit insensitive when speaking a truth.

It's not the truth, it's just your expectation of how they should live their life based on your opinion.

For full transparency, I personally don't understand the importance of having a child - biological or not. I fight against the idea that not having children is selfish and the idea that having children is this selfless thing you can do. I think both choices are selfish in different ways - people have kids because they want them and usually biologically because they want mini versions of themselves. I personally will never understand. However I don't believe what I think matters to anybody else. When someone tells me they're pregnant I don't say "Why" which is what I say in my head. I congratulate them if they're happy about it.

If I was in a conversation with someone who was talking about wanting their own child (whether they are biologically able to or not) I would never share that I don't understand the need, I'd just respect that, for them, it's super important and something they want from life. That empathy extends even more greatly when that person really wants a baby but is struggling to conceive. It's such an emotionally taxing situation and it really doesn't need unhelpful input from people who believe they are 'just speaking the truth' when really they're just imparting their opinion on a subject that is often painful to discuss.

If the idea is that you think adoption is important because it helps a child in need, then you should really hold everyone to the same sort of standard, otherwise it's not about the children at all.