[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

People join dating sites with the intent to go out and socialise though tbf, like that's the end goal with it, going out on dates.

For a lot of people as well they go out to meet people as well as use dating sites. Truth is not everyone's going to be lucky enough to bump into someone that they want to spend the rest of their lives with, it just doesn't happen for everyone, so why not widen the net lol? I think a much sadder thought is that option not being available and those people resigning themselves to loneliness tbh.

Yeah I said earlier I can definitely see how it would be good for older people because it's harder to meet people then I think, I suppose I'm just thinking about when I was a teenager/early twenties it was easy to meet people by just going out or through friends etc I don't mean people are sad for using them, I mean it would be sad if meeting people that way is lost to apps

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

You don't understand how a date without an app would work? How did people ever get together before computers then? body language, speaking to each other, flirting. . .

Yeah! I know they existed. But like the step through step process doesn't really make sense

Like step 1: Your eyes meet an actual strangers eyes in a bar? (Not in my world, you look at me, I'm calling the police).
2: approach them? (kinda weird)
3: compliment them? (Weirdo mate)
4: ask them on a date? (That cant be right? Thats way too soon?)
5: be on date with a stranger and guess each others interests? (Whut)
6: hope it goes well etc - i get how it works from there I suppose.. its just the first several steps that confuse me!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Withano

Yeah! I know they existed. But like the step through step process doesn't really make sense

Like step 1: Your eyes meet an actual strangers eyes in a bar? (Not in my world, you look at me, I'm calling the police).
2: approach them? (kinda weird)
3: compliment them? (Weirdo mate)
4: ask them on a date? (That cant be right? Thats way too soon?)
5: be on date with a stranger and guess each others interests? (Whut)
6: hope it goes well etc - i get how it works from there I suppose.. its just the first several steps that confuse me!

This post is just making the case for me thank goodness you're good at other stuff Withano

[reece(:]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

You don't understand how a date without an app would work? How did people ever get together before computers then? body language, speaking to each other, flirting. . .

Aka inebriation?

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

This post is just making the case for me thank goodness you're good at other stuff Withano

Tbf the concept of dating apps and websites is mostly lost on me too.. but it does make more sense to me than however dates came about in a pre-app world!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Withano

Tbf the concept of dating apps and websites is mostly lost on me too.. but it does make more sense to me than however dates came about in a pre-app world!

[Babayaro.]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I think Josy was introduced to suitors by her papa at the village dance.

[user104658]

Tbh I do find dating apps (the entire concept, as well as in practice) pretty depressing . And I met my wife online! Though on a forum, not a dating site.

[Ashley.]

They sure do make the answer to "how did you two meet?" a little less romantic.

[Tom4784]

It's not something I'm interested in, don't care for meeting strangers for sex tbh and I'd rather form a connection in the flesh than online.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't have the time or energy for anymore real life friends

Sounds like your swinging, lol

[thesheriff443]

Never been on any, but its a sign of the times.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Sounds like your swinging, lol

Definitely not, no

[user104658]

To elaborate on my stance, I guess I find it a bit sad when people have to actively search for that connection - be it a relationship or even just physical - rather than just letting life happen and those things being a part of it. It's not exclusively apps and sites I'd say that about, I feel the same about blind dates / setups / any active "love searching" I guess. I mean I understand why people do it, it just doesn't seem organic to me.

So like I said it's not even like I think Internet meeting is "sad" - I met my wife on a student forum, and we've been together 11 years - but neither of us were out there "looking for love". She actually had a boyfriend when we first started talking, and I was there to... Well... Borderline troll like I do here . But we got talking a bit on good old MSN, ended up talking every day, had a vague plan to meet up travelling after uni... Eventually ended up so desperate to meet in person that we abandonned that plan and booked flights there and then (she was on a year abroad in France).

But yeah... I know a few with similar stories - met on music forums, TV fan forums, etc. and that is still... I guess... A modern version of "normal". Just people interacting in everyday ways and finding connections. That's where the difference is, for me. I find it a bit bleak that people have to resort to "searching for someone" for emotional or physical intimacy.

[Marsh.]

How is it any different to someone purposely going on the lookout for a date/or sex on a night out?

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

How is it any different to someone purposely going on the lookout for a date/or sex on a night out?

It isn't, but I find bar / club trawling even more bleak than dating apps if anything . I guess things like Tinder are just the digital age equivalent of the same thing?

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Definitely not, no

Niamh releases statement, categorically denying being a swinger

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It isn't, but I find bar / club trawling even more bleak than dating apps if anything . I guess things like Tinder are just the digital age equivalent of the same thing?

WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE THEN. asking for a friend.

[Denver]

Dating online you judge people straight away and don't give them a fair crack of the whip as you would in real life like go speed dating of double dating

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Withano

WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE THEN. asking for a friend.

You actually need to go out and do stuff. Yuck! I get it to be fair, I'm pretty glad I'm in a long term relationship. I'm far too old to be out doing stuff . Although, she keeps telling me that I should go out and do stuff and have hobbies but it sounds pretty exhausting...

Originally Posted by Adam.

Dating online you judge people straight away and don't give them a fair crack of the whip as you would in real life like go speed dating of double dating

I do also agree with that, it's a major problem with the dating site mechanic even if you are going purely by the physical. People have more to them than a static image; a lot of attraction is in the way people hold themselves, mannerisms, microexpressions, etc.

Basically... You can see a picture of someone and think they're "ok" but be HUGELY attracted to them in person when you actually see them move, speak, make eye contact etc... And likewise, you can think someone looks stunning in a picture and be left totally "meh" as soon as you see them in person. Even if they look exactly like their picture. Body language is much more important.

This is why people have "weird celebrity crushes". They look at a picture of them and wonder why on earth they'd find that person attractive... But then when they actually see them "live action" on screen they are for some reason attracted to how they "are".

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

You actually need to go out and do stuff. Yuck! I get it to be fair, I'm pretty glad I'm in a long term relationship. I'm far too old to be out doing stuff . Although, she keeps telling me that I should go out and do stuff and have hobbies but it sounds pretty exhausting...

That only works in Disney films.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It isn't, but I find bar / club trawling even more bleak than dating apps if anything . I guess things like Tinder are just the digital age equivalent of the same thing?

I think so. With or without apps there will be that rather seedy side to it.

[y.winter]

Never tried any of them. Some of them are awfully notorious and sleazy around *here* and it's far from what I'm looking for. It doesn't help that I'm not quite a socializing kind of guy, not into pubs and such, and I'm not sure if I'd like to face it in this specific platform.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Withano

That only works in Disney films.

It only works if you believe. You have to believe in true love, Withano! It's the only away to escape from the empty, stingy, drippy hell of Tinder chlamydia hookups.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It only works if you believe. You have to believe in true love, Withano! It's the only away to escape from the empty, stingy, drippy hell of Tinder chlamydia hookups.

I feel a song number coming on.