The 'Kiss of Death' !

[rachb]

Originally posted by Boris


Sorry about the lack of promotion for you and Rachb......You would think that Captain Kaz could have shown a bit of appreciation for your loyalty by now. Never mind chaps, maybe she has something special in mind for a big occasion !
Its the waiting that is really bad Boris,every morning rushing to the door to greet the postman in the hopes its that special letter informing us of promotion,but nothing so far:bawling::bawling::bawling:
we will remain loyal to Captain Kaz though :xyxwave::xyxwave:and hope that tomorrow may bring some news:thumbs::thumbs:

[Boris]

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear !

The weight of resposibility is heavy in my shoulders....so 1 a time


1st......On behalf of Captan Kaz I welcome you to this mission Private MadonnaStu.(Yes, we knew we'd get you in the end . Even Wing commander Sticks, who thoroughly disaproves, can't resist the urge to 'join in '.)

So chin chin old chap, all hands on board to keep Boris ( Moi ) safe and free from fear of the 'kiss of death'.

2nd....RSM Rob...you must keep closer guard of your OH. He must not be let loose with those balls - cannon - we all know what a loose cannon can do.

I can see by your picture that you are indeed at the 'nerve centre' of this operation. If you continue in the same vein you just might begin to get on someones nerves... spreading crips crumbs all over the place :joker:

And Corprals Amy and Rachb...all I can do is appologise for the interminable waiting. If it goes on much longer I will take matters into my own hands and do 'SOMETHING' about it. What do you suggest....any bright ideas of your own?I will try to oblige, I am after all a very obliging fellow:spin:


Attennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnshun:xyxwave:

[BusyBee]

Boris = just noticed you are last at the moment - cant have that can we :nono::nono:

Just goes to show what we can do when we put our minds to it.

BTW can I please have a military ranking - I think something high up in the air force would suit me - although of course I AM THE QUEEN BEE.:hugesmile::hugesmile:

[Boris]

Well now Busy Bee what can we find for you. Afraid the post of 'Queen' is already taken and Charles wouldn't want a substitute for his 'Mummy' soooooooooooo 'where shall we put you'( another film quote for anyone who's interested:spin:)
Hmmm....the others might complain if I give you the elevated status of 'Brigadere'. I will mention it to Captain Kaz when next we meet.May be if yu are a 'musical' person , you would like to be Bugal playing bandsman....Yes, that is it,


Stand to Attention there 'Bandsman Busy Bee'By the left quick march....
DA da..da da da dee dee da !.....

[Sticks]

Just to let you know we have launched the Tornados out on patrol so the infantry have air support

:dance:

[rachb]

Originally posted by Boris


And Corprals Amy and Rachb...all I can do is appologise for the interminable waiting. If it goes on much longer I will take matters into my own hands and do 'SOMETHING' about it. What do you suggest....any bright ideas of your own?I will try to oblige, I am after all a very obliging fellow:spin:



If you could just put in a good word for me that would be great and I know Amy had that little fling :love::love::love:when she should have been working:nono::nono:but i feel shes more than made up for it since:thumbs:
so if you could have a little word to the captain that would be just great:thumbs:

[Amy]

We've worked so hard protecting the thread we could do with a promotion boost :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :spin2: :spin2: :spin2:

[Kaz]

Evening, troops! :xyxwave:

Welcome aboard, Private MadonnaStu - we need all the help we can get with this mission, as you can see.

Good work, RSM ROB in getting OH to hold the fort for you - excellent delegation of duties. I can see you have the situation under a tight rein. :thumbs:

BusyBee - would you like to take up the offer of Bandsman? . . . . . . . or . . . . . .

Pay attention everyone - IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

. . . . there are vacancies at the moment at Lance Corporal level because, due to services above and beyond the call of duty over recent days, I am pleased to announce that Amy and Rachb have both been promoted to Sergeant.

:hello: :spin2: :hello: :spin2: :hello:

Step forward, ladies and collect your stripes! :thumbs:

http://www.military-graphics.com/smaj.gif

Congratulations, and keep up the good work. :love:

Carry on, everyone! :xyxwave:

[Amy]

Thank you Captain! :hello:
We WILL continue to support and protect your mission :thumbs:
We WILL stop Boris being the last post on this thread!!

[Mairi]

Aww, congratulations Amy and Rachb.

I'm sure you will both make wonderful sergeants.

:hello::spin2::hello::spin2::hello:

[rachb]

Thank you Captain Kaz!!!
http://www.ticklingforum.com/smiles/bowing.gifhttp://www.ticklingforum.com/smiles/bowing.gifhttp://www.ticklingforum.com/smiles/bowing.gif
:dance::dance::dance:

[Stu xxx]

I can be incharge of tortue if you like x

I like causing pain x I don't know who i could torture but i will be under you orders Captain Kaz xxx

[steve_o]

Blimey:shocked:

[Kaz]

Errrrrrrrr, thanks (I think!! :shocked:) Private MadonnaStu!

However, I don't think anyone here is under any threat of torture at the moment! The only occasion I can think of that might warrant that type of punishment is if Wing Commander Sticks dares to post a P&H Van picture on this hallowed thread. :nono: :shocked: :nono:

Night shift at the ready? :xyxwave:

[rachb]

:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:Night shift ready Captain Kaz:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:
:xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxw ave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[Kaz]

Thank you, Sergeant Rachb. :thumbs:

Another day is drawing to an end
We have protected you well, Boris my friend
It may be hard, and it could well be tough
But Dermot - yes, we ARE tough enough! :thumbs:

:xyxwave:

[Amy]

Sorry had to post as i'm sure i heard Dermots name mentioned :hello::hello:

[Stu xxx]

originally posted by Kaz
I don't think anyone here is under any threat of torture at the moment


Well i'll be here waiting with my sander and rope in case you do xxx

[rachb]

Sergeant Amy this is just for you!!!
http://sscorer.co.uk/Gifs/Alarmclock.gif
Don't forget to set it:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Sticks]

Begin morning shift :sleep::colour:

[Sticks]

Just to let you know, I have been informed that all our Tornados have returned from patrol with out incident.

http://www.operations.mod.uk/telic/images/ops/gr4_sunset_tn.jpg

:hello:

Have just sent out a harrier on dawn patrol. Us pilots can take over if you like :hugesmile:

[Boris]

Just checking that the @day shift' has started.....Well done Wing Commander !

What wonderful news Sergeants Amy and Rachb...well earned stripes. You serve loyally !
No Private MadonnaStu...don't get carried away with enthusiasm:shocked:Perhaps we can find a more suitable job for you...any suggestions.

well the M6 is calling, it is 7.30AM so off for a 'different ' kind of DUTY.....

Attennnnnnnnnnnnnnnshun:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

The Navy are here Boris!!! Never fear!
:colour:

[splodge0]

p.s. Boris, I have enable notification via pager so that Admiralty WILL be awary of you current plight and will not be far away........................:colour:

[kaphc]

Here this morning as well, though my post looks very bland beneath Splodge's two colourful ones!!

:dance:

[Kaz]

Morning, all! :xyxwave:

Well done again, troops - and many thanks to the RAF and Navy for their continued support.

However, Wing Commander Sticks - I'm no expert on planes but I have a hunch that the last picture you posted wasn't a Harrier :shocked: :nono:

I believe that THIS is a Harrier!

http://www.janes.com/defence/gallery/saifs_gallery/images3/0035.jpg

Unless anyone knows differently!!

Day shift all present and correct! :xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Absolutely right Captain! Well spotted!!

In fact, MOST appropriately, a Sea Harrier!!:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

:colour:

[Kaz]

Thank you, Admiral! :xyxwave:

As I said, I'm no expert on different planes, but I do have a soft spot for the Harrier. Fascinating aeroplane - the only one that can take off and land vertically, fly forwards and backwards, and hover in mid-air! :spin2:

Before I depart this mortal coil, it's my lifetime's ambition to have a flight in one. Sadly, pigs will probably fly first . . . . . :bawling:

. . . . and this mission must come first. :xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Oooh, hello sailors! We've gone all nautical...............

Casabianca



The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.

Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though childlike form.

The flames roll'd on...he would not go
Without his father's word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.

He call'd aloud..."Say, father,say
If yet my task is done!"
He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.

"Speak, father!" once again her cried
"If I may yet be gone!"
And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames roll'd on.

Upon his brow he felt their breath,
And in his waving hair,
And looked from that lone post of death,
In still yet brave despair;

And shouted but one more aloud,
"My father, must I stay?"
While o'er him fast, through sail and shroud
The wreathing fires made way,

They wrapt the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And stream'd above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.

There came a burst of thunder sound...
The boy-oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea.

With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part;
But the noblest thing which perished there
Was that young faithful heart.

[splodge0]

RoB, I always wanted the full version of that!!!!:love:

Now,Rob dear,PLEASE PLEASE can you find the full version of Eskimo Nell? I have lost my copy MANY years ago.....................:flower:

:colour::colour::colour::colour:
:colour::colour::colour:
:colour::colour:
:colour:

[BusyBee]

Thank you for my military status. How did you know I am a wizz on the comb and paper.:blush::shocked:

Just as long as you dont want me to sing?

Bandsman Busy Bee signing off now - Roger over and out.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Eskimo Nell??:shocked:

Well dear Splodge, I found the full transcript with ease.

However, it's very naughty.

So I will u2u the url to you.

Methinks I will not post it up....... :blush::blush::blush::blush:

[splodge0]

:laugh::laugh::laugh: Chicken! :laugh::laugh::laugh:

[splodge0]

RoB, I am full of admiration! I hope you don't feel corrupted now!!

Thanks again:colour::colour:

[BigSister]

Im here now:thumbs:

:elephant::elephant::elephant::elephant:

[Kaz]

Thanks, BigSister - all assistance in this mission gratefully received. Would you like to apply for one of the vacant Lance Corporal positions in this mission? :thumbs:

Although she's not yet visited
This thread today, it's true
We must keep watch so, dear Boris
The last post is not from you.

:xyxwave:

[BigSister]

ok Thanks Kaz:hugesmile:

:elephant::elephant::elephant::elephant:

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Kaz
However, Wing Commander Sticks - I'm no expert on planes but I have a hunch that the last picture you posted wasn't a Harrier :shocked: :nono:


Apollogies, it was a F18-Hornet on loan from the Finnish Airforce, to make up for the one we lost earlier when Air Officer Ginger bought it.

We received a new harrier today to continue patrols :thumbs:

[Boris]

Now,Rob dear,PLEASE PLEASE can you find the full version of Eskimo Nell? I have lost my copy MANY years ago.....................


Oooooooh Admiral that's a very RUDE song...and you have a supplier too:shocked: Does that mean you are a VICE Admiral ????:shocked::shocked:


Attennnnnnnnnshun

And by the way Captain Kaz I have something in the NEXT post to show you. I fear it will make you blush ! :blush:

[Boris]

Although she's not yet visited
This thread today, it's true
We must keep watch so, dear Boris
The last post is not from you.


May I direct your eyes back to 7.30 AM dear Captain.:shocked:

I popped in to check that the 'day shift ' was in attendance !


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm .

It seems you need watching too today !

Attennnnnnnnnnnnshun:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

We're here!! Hows that for a responce time!

[Boris]

Fantastic....:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

YEP! LOL Technology for you!:colour:

[Kaz]

Posted by Boris
May I direct your eyes back to 7.30 AM dear Captain :shocked:
Wooooooooooops! :blush:

My profuse apologies, Boris.

I can only say in my defence that it must have been the distraction of seeing Sticks posting that picture of a plane which was clearly not a Harrier Jump Jet which caused this to slip my mind. :bawling:

I can assure you that it WILL not happen again.

Your trusty servant,

Kaz (Captain) x

:xyxwave:

[Boris]

Your Apology is accepted,
I know 'twas just a slip,
These often do occure,
Between the 'cup and lip'


(...yes I know but it is getting close to my bed time and I am tired :hugesmile:)

Stand Easy now ...

From your Friend the 'Thread Monger' - Boris XX:xyxwave:

[Kaz]

I think we're BOTH running out of poems now, Boris! :laugh:

Sweet dreams - the thread is safe in our hands.

:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Just yrying to test us are you Boris??LOL

[Boris]

My word Admiral....the Navy certainly are 'on the ball' tonight !:laugh::hello::laugh:

Trust it did not interfer TOO much with a certain 'reality' show !

:xyxwave:Pipe the Captain aboard now ...Think we need Bandsman Busy Bee .
COme On That Man there

At the double ....!:xyxwave:

[Kaz]

Don't know if I dare venture aboard Admiral Splodge's red-bottomed boat, Boris - I haven't taken my seasickness tablets today, so it could all get rather messy! :shocked: :blush:

Think I'll stick to 'terra firma' if you don't mind!

At your service! :xyxwave:

[Boris]

Oooh, hello sailors! We've gone all nautical...............

I am just wondering if I can make use of the 'writings' RSM Rob has posted up .
HHmmm. ...not those supplied privately to The Admiral you understand. :shocked:

Having spent the evening putting together a Selection of music and rhymes with a nautical bent ( ! )....for my 'other' life ...I just wondered if 'The boy stood on the burning deck'.....might mke a suitable 'encore' . Hmmmmmmmmm. :hugesmile:Will thinkabout it :xyxwave:

[Boris]

Think I'll stick to 'terra firma' if you don't mind!

I'll let you into a little secret Captain Kaz, if you PROMISE not to let the rest of the Troops know. You will NOT need your 'sea'sickness pills ....the little 'red bottomed' boat is STILL in 'dry' dock :shocked: The Admiral cannot take her to sea without a trusty Captain .

Fancy a New Job at all Captain Kaz ????

You could organise all plank walkings......

Attennnnnnnnnnnnshun

:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Oi!!!!

[Boris]

Oi!!!!


Think the Admiral meant to say

"A h oi !"


:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

I was still waiting for you..............:laugh:

:colour::colour:
:colour:

Gotcha!!!

[Boris]

It's a FAIR cop I'll come quietly sir !

[splodge0]

Quick someone.................:colour:

[rachb]

Here now !!Splodge:xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Co! Ta rachb! Its been a hard shift. Boris had it on her tonight.:colour:

[Stu xxx]

That evil Boris shall i get out my tortue devices and probe for infomation on when she plans to post xxxx

MHWA HA HA!


http://www.madonna.com/madonna/images/media/imagegallery/set_17/S17_LM7.jpg

[Amy]

Originally posted by rachb
Sergeant Amy this is just for you!!!
http://sscorer.co.uk/Gifs/Alarmclock.gif
Don't forget to set it:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I overslept again :blush: Sergeant Rach :blush: I'm sure that alarm clock of mine is playing up :hugesmile:

[Kaz]

Steady there, Stu - Boris isn't evil - she's just testing out the dedication to duty of the 'Barmy Tibb Army'! :thumbs:

Good work, faithful troops - my rookie Sergeants haven't let me down. :love:

And Admiral - must as I'd like to join you on your next seafaring mission, I fear I cannot until my present mission has been achieved.

Just when that WILL be, I cannot say!

Night shift all present and correct?

:xyxwave:

[Stu xxx]

Sorry but sometimes i have to let out my dark side xxx


http://www.madonna.com/madonna/images/media/imagegallery/set_18/S18_LM5.jpg

[splodge0]

Its OK Cap'n. As I say our erstwhile Boris was determined to embarrass today!! :laugh::laugh:

Tho' of course anyone who can find my little "red bottom" boat is welcome to take my shilling (old pressgang joke) and be welcome to take a passage with us, (royal "we")

must be getting tired....... None of that makes sense

:colour:

[Kaz]

must be getting tired.......
Not surprised, Splodge - after almost 14 hours on duty! :shocked: :shocked:

Time to take a well-earned rest, and put your feet up in your hammock for some shut-eye. :thumbs:

Attention, night shift - the safety of this thread is now in your capable hands.

Over and out. :xyxwave:

[steve_o]

There was no night shift you nearly had the last post there Kaz. :shocked::thumbs:

:spin:

[Kaz]

Thanks, Steve - but I think I could cope with that! :laugh:

After all, that WILL be the final outcome of my mission.

Some day . . . . .
Over the rainbow . . . . . .

Don't know where . . . . . . .
Don't know when . . . . . . .

:spin:

[rachb]

Its OK Captain here and ready for the night shift as always:xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Originally posted by Kaz
Thanks, Steve - but I think I could cope with that! :laugh:

After all, that WILL be the final outcome of my mission.

Some day . . . . .
Over the rainbow . . . . . .

Don't know where . . . . . . .
Don't know when . . . . . . .

:spin:

Just for you Kaz, taken about sunset today.:colour:

[splodge0]

oops! SORRY!!!

[Romantic Old Bird]

Morning all!

Are we still at sea??

In which case I thought there were some facts we all needed to know:

Ahoy!" - This old traditional greeting for hailing other vessels was originally a Viking battle cry.

As the Crow Flies - When lost or unsure of their position in coastal waters, ships would release a caged crow. The crow would fly straight towards the nearest land thus giving the vessel some sort of a navigational fix. The tallest lookout platform on a ship came to be know as the crow's nest.

At Loggerheads - An iron ball attached to a long handle was a loggerhead. When heated it was used to seal the pitch in deck seams. It was sometimes a handy weapon for quarrelling crewmen.

b.p. is bow pulpit. In the past ships were measured from stern forward as in "Length. b. p. 213.36 m" b.p. has been replaced by L.O.A. (Length Over All) (thanks Brent Matthews)

Bear Down - To sail downwind rapidly towards another ship or landmark.

Before The Mast - Literally, the position of the crew whose living quarters on board were in the forecastle (the section of a ship forward of the foremast).
The term is also used more generally to describe seamen as compared with officers, in phrases such as "he sailed before the
mast."

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - The devil seam was the curved seam in the deck planking closest to the side of the ship and next to the scupper gutters, it was the longest seam of the ship. It ran from the bow to the stern. If a sailor slipped on the deck, he could find himself between the devil and the deep blue sea. Also, When at sea and the "devil" had to be caulked, the sailor sat in a bo'sun's chair to do so. He was suspended between the "devil" and the "deep blue sea"... a very precarious position, especially when the ship was underway.

Binnacle List - A ship's sick-list. A binnacle was the stand on which the ship's compass was mounted. In the eighteenth century and probably before, a list was given to the officer or mate of the watch, containing the names of men unable to report for duty. The list was kept at the binnacle.

Bitter End - The end of an anchor cable is fastened to the bitts at the ship's bow. If all of the anchor cable has been payed out you have come to the bitter end.

Booby Hatch - Aboard ship, a booby hatch is a sliding cover or hatch that
must be pushed away to allow access or passage.

Buoyed Up - Using a buoy to raise the bight of an anchor cable to prevent it from chafing on a rough bottom.

Chewing the Fat - "God made the vittles but the devil made the cook," was a popular saying used by seafaring men in the 19th century when salted beef was a staple of the diet aboard ship. This tough cured beef, suitable only for long voyages when nothing else was cheap or would keep as well (remember, there was no refrigeration), required prolonged chewing to make it edible. Men often chewed one chunk for hours, just as if it were chewing gum and referred to this practice as "chewing the fat."

Cup of Joe - Josephus Daniels (18 May 1862-15 January 1948) was appointed Secretary of the Navy by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913. Among his reforms of the Navy were: inaugurating the practice of making 100 Sailors from the Fleet eligible for entrance into the Naval Academy; the introduction of women into the service; and, the abolishment of the officer's wine mess. From that time on, the strongest drink aboard Navy ships could only be coffee and over the years, a cup of coffee became known as "a cup of Joe".

Cut and Run - If a captain of a smaller ship encountered a larger enemy vessel, he might decide that discretion is the better part of valor, and so he would order the crew to cut the lashings on all the sails and run away before the wind. Other sources indicate "Cut and Run" meant to cut the anchor cable and sail off in a hurry.

Cut of His Jib - Warships many times had their foresails or jib sails cut thinly so that they could maintain point and not be blown off course. Upon sighting thin foresails on a distant ship a captain might not like the cut of his jib and would then have an opportunity to escape.

D.W.T.- dead weight tonnage. Difference between a ship's light and loaded displacement. (thanks Jose Gonzalez)

Devil to Pay - Today the expression "devil to pay" is used primarily to describe having an unpleasant result from some action that has been taken, as in someone has done something they shouldn't have and, as a result, "there will be the devil to pay." Originally, this expression described one of the unpleasant tasks aboard a wooden ship. The "devil" was the wooden ship's longest seam in the hull. Caulking was done with "pay" or pitch (a kind of tar). The task of "paying the devil" (caulking the longest seam) by squatting in the bilges was despised by every seaman.

Down The Hatch - Here's a drinking expression that seems to have its origins in sea freight, where cargoes are lowered into the hatch. First used by
seamen, it has only been traced back to the turn of the century.

Eight Bells - Aboard Navy ships, bells are struck to designate the hours of being on watch. Each watch is four hours in length. One bell is struck after the first half-hour has passed, two bells after one hour has passed, three bells after an hour and a half, four bells after two hours, and so forth up to eight bells are struck at the completion of the four hours. Completing a watch with no incidents to report was "Eight bells and all is well." The practice of using bells stems from the days of the sailing ships. Sailors couldn't afford to have their own time pieces and relied on the ship's bells to tell time. The ship's boy kept time by using a half-hour glass. Each time the sand ran out, he would turn the glass over and ring the appropriate number of bells.

Fathom - Fathom was originally a land measuring term derived from the Ango-Saxon word "faetm" meaning to embrace. In those days, most measurements were based on average size of parts of the body, such as the hand (horses are still measured this way) or the foot (that's why 12 inches are so named). A fathom is the average distance from fingertip to fingertip of the outstretched arms of a man.. about six feet. Since a man stretches out his arms to embrace his sweetheart, Britain's Parliament declared that distance be called a "fathom" and that it be a unit of measure. A fathom remains six feet. The word was also used to describe "taking the measure of" or "to fathom" something. Today, of course, when one is trying to
figure something out, they are trying to "fathom it" or "get their arms around it."

Fly-by-Night - A large sail used only for sailing downwind and requiring rather little attention.
Footloose - The bottom portion of a sail is called the foot. If it is not secured, it is footloose and it dances randomly in the wind.

Freeze a Brass Monkey - Between a ship's guns were lip-edged brass trays called monkeys which held pyramid stacks of cannon balls. In cold weather, the brass tray would contract faster than the iron cannon balls and the balls would go tumbling on the deck. In this case it was said to be "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey". This is one of the stories going around regarding the meaning of this term. A good many people disagree with it.

Garbled - Garbling was the prohibited practice of mixing rubbish with the cargo. A distorted, mixed up message was said to be garbled.

Give (someone) a Wide Berth - To anchor a ship far enough away from another ship so that they did not hit each other when they swung with the wind or tide.

Gone By the Board - Anything seen to have gone overboard or spotted floating past the ship (by the board) was considered lost at sea.

Gun Salutes - Gun salutes were first fired as an act of good faith. In the days when it took so long to reload a gun, it was a proof of friendly intention when the ship's cannon were discharged upon entering port.

Hoisted by One's Petard - The "petard" was a small cask of black powder used to prime cannon fuses. During battle a petard was stored alongside each gun. Occasionally, a careless crewman would set one off while lighting a fuse, thereby "hoisting" himself in the air. The expression was used by English sailors describing the inept French gunners.

Keel Hauling - A naval punishment on board ships said to have originated with the Dutch but adopted by other navies during the 15th and 16th
centuries. A rope was rigged from yardarm to yardarm, passing under the bottom of the ship, and the unfortunate delinquent secured
to it, sometimes with lead or iron weights attached to his legs. He was hoisted up to one yardarm and then dropped suddenly into
the sea, hauled underneath the ship, and hoisted up to the opposite yardarm, the punishment being repeated after he had had time
to recover his breath. While he was under water, a "great gun" was fired, "which is done as well to astonish him so much the more
with the thunder of the shot, as to give warning until all others of the fleet to look out and be wary by his harms" (from Nathaniel
Boteler, A Dialogicall Discourse, 1634). The U.S. Navy never practiced keel hauling.

Knows the Ropes - In the very early days, this phrase was written on a seaman's discharge to indicate that he was still a novice. All he knew about being a sailor was just the names and uses of the principal ropes (lines). Today, this same phrase means the opposite.. that the person fully knows and understands the operation (usually of the organization).

Let the Cat Out of the Bag - In the Royal Navy the punishment prescribed for most serious crimes was flogging. This was administered by the Bosun's Mate using a whip called a cat o' nine tails. The "cat" was kept in a leather or baize bag. It was considered bad news indeed when the cat was let out of the bag. Other sources attribute the expression to the old English market scam of selling someone a pig in a poke (bag) when the pig turned out to be a cat instead. Overbearing - To sail downwind directly at another ship thus "stealing" or diverting the wind from his sails.

No Great Shakes - When casks became empty they were "shaken" (taken apart) so the pieces, called shakes, could be stored in a small space. Shakes had very little value.

No Room to Swing a Cat -
The entire ship's company was required to witness flogging at close hand. A ship with a full compliment of crew could crowd around so that the Bosun's Mate might not have enough room to swing his cat o' nine tails.

Overhaul - To prevent the buntline ropes from chaffing the sails, crew were sent aloft to haul them over the sails. This was called overhauling.

Overreach - If a ship holds a tack course too long, it has overreached its turning point and the distance it must travel to reach it's next tack point is increased.
Pooped - The poop is the stern section of a ship. To be pooped is to be swamped by a high, following sea.

Overwhelm - Old English for capsize or founder.

Press Into Service - The British navy filled their ships' crew quotas by kidnapping men off the streets and forcing them into service. This was called Impressment and was done by Press Gangs.

Rummage Sale - From the French "arrimage" meaning ship's cargo. Damaged cargo was sold at a rummage sale.

S.O.S. - Contrary to popular notion, the letters S.O.S. do not stand for "Save Our Ship" or "Save Our Souls". They were selected to indicate a distress because, in Morse code, these letters and their combination create an unmistakable sound pattern. Of course, also popular to the Navy cuisine was an inexpensive meal consisting of ground beef and gravy over toast. This is also known as S.O.S., or "S_ _ _ on a Shingle."

Scuttlebutt - A butt was a barrel. Scuttle meant to chop a hole in something. The scuttlebutt was a water barrel with a hole cut into it so that sailors could reach in and dip out drinking water. The scuttlebutt was the place where the ship's gossip was exchanged.

Shows His True Colors - Early warships often carried flags from many nations on board in order to elude or deceive the enemy. The rules of civilized warfare called for all ships to hoist their true national ensigns before firing a shot. Someone who finally "shows his true colors" is acting like a man-of-war which hailed another ship flying one flag, but then hoisted their own when they got in firing range.

Slush Fund - A slushy slurry of fat was obtained by boiling or scraping the empty salted meat storage barrels. This stuff was often sold ashore by the ship's cook for the benefit of himself or the crew. The money so derived became known as a slush fund.

Son of a Gun - When in port, and with the crew restricted to the ship for any extended period of time, wives and ladies of easy virtue often were allowed to live aboard along with the crew. Infrequently, but not uncommonly, children were born aboard, and a convenient place for this was between guns on the gun deck. If the child's father was unknown, they were entered in the ship's log as "son of a gun".

Splice the Main Brace - A sailing ship's rigging was a favorite target during sea battles since by destroying the opponent's ability to maneuver or get away you would be at an obvious advantage. Therefore, the first thing tended to after a battle was to repair broken gear, and repair sheets (sails) and braces (lines, improperly, ropes, passing through blocks and holding up sails). It was the custom, after the main braces were properly spliced, to serve grog to the entire crew. Thus, today, after a hard day (or, not so hard day), the phrase has become an invitation to have a drink.

Square Meal - In good weather, crews' mess was a warm meal served on square wooden platters.

Start Over with a Clean Slate - A slate tablet was kept near the helm on which the watch keeper would record the speeds, distances, headings and tacks during the watch. If there were no problems during the watch, the slate would be wiped clean so that the new watch could start over with a clean slate.

Taken Aback - A dangerous situation where the wind is on the wrong side of the sails pressing them back against the mast and forcing the ship astern. Most often this was caused by an inattentive helmsman who had allowed the ship to head up into the wind. Come to describe a person at a momentary loss, unable to act or even to speak.

Taking the wind out of his sails - Sailing in a manner so as to steal or divert wind from another ship's sails.

The Devil to Pay - To pay the deck seams meant to seal them with tar. The devil seam was the most difficult to pay because it was curved and intersected with the straight deck planking. Some sources define the "devil" as the below the waterline seam between the keel and the the adjoining planking. Paying the Devil was considered to be a most difficult and unpleasant task.

Three Mile Limit - The original three-mile limit was the recognized distance from a nation's shore over which that nation had jurisdiction. This border of international waters or the "high seas" was established because, at the time
this international law was established, three miles was the longest range of any nation's most powerful guns, and therefore, the limit from shore batteries at which they could enforce their laws. (International law and the 1988 Territorial Sea Proclamation established the "high seas" border at the 12-mile limit.)

Three Sheets to the Wind - A sheet is a rope line which controls the tension on the downwind side of a square sail. If, on a three masted fully rigged ship, the sheets of the three lower course sails are loose, the sails will flap and flutter and are said to be "in the wind". A ship in this condition would stagger and wander aimlessly downwind.

Toe the Line - When called to line up at attention, the ship's crew would form up with their toes touching a seam in the deck planking.

Took the wind out of his sails - Originally it described a battle maneuver of sailing ships. One ship would pass close to its adversary on its windward side. The ship and sails would block the wind from the second vessel, causing it to lose headway. Losing motion meant losing maneuverability and the ability to carry on a fight. The term now is used to describe getting the best of an opponent in an argument.

Touch and Go - This referred to a ship's keel touching the bottom and getting right off again.

Under the Weather - If a crewman is standing watch on the weather side of the bow, he will be subject to the constant beating of the sea and the ocean spray. He will be under the weather.

Wear Ship - Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary: wear vt (7) to cause (a ship) to go about with the stern presented to the wind. Note: I have a whaling ship log where the phrase "wore ship" appears many times. Tom Tyler, University of Denver Library and...... The term refers to a maneuver characteristic of a square rigged vessel. Given the configuration of the sails, the best point of sail that could be achieved was a beam reach or slightly better. These vessels could not bring the bow through the breeze as a sloop rigged vessel could. The alternative to the tack, was to turn away from the wind, eventually jibing the vessel around and establishing course on the opposite tack. Naturally this is a costly maneuver in distance made good to windward and also in stress and strain on the ship itself. All yards and braces had to be shifted at the precise moment and such a maneuver typically required at least the full watch on deck and in some cases all hands to accomplish. The exact part of the ship or crew that took the "wear" is in question, though one might imagine everyone felt so after. Jim Meyers

Whole Nine Yards - Yards are the spars attached at right angles across a mast to support square sails. (Yardarms are either side of a yard.) On a fully-rigged three-masted ship there were three major square sails on each mast. So if the nine major sails were all employed at the same time, the whole nine yards were working


NOW A QUCK WARM UP EXERCISE............ (http://www.rawumber.homestead.com/files/sailpipe.mid)


http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/children/pugwash/pugwash.jpg

Morning ship mates.........:laugh:

[kaphc]

Morning RSM ROB!

Think we are still afloat this morning which gives me chance to listen to one of my favourite things - the shipping forecast!! I just love it!! :colour::wavey:

[Kaz]

Morning everyone. :wavey:

Some fascinating facts there, RSM ROB - but this one sounds particularly painful . .

Buoyed Up - Using a buoy to raise the bight of an anchor cable to prevent it from chafing on a rough bottom.
:laugh: :shocked::laugh: :shocked: :laugh:

Admiral Splodge - I'm speechless! My very own rainbow . . . and it's a double one at that! :love:

I've had a go at making it a bit smaller so everyone can see how beautiful it is. :thumbs:

Carry on, troops! :xyxwave:

[BusyBee]

Dont forget to look for the crock of gold at the end of the rainbow?:thumbs:

[Kaz]

I've already looked, Bandsman BusyBee - ziltch!! :bawling:

Can you play a burst of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' on your bugle, by any chance? :laugh: :dazzler:

:xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Ever wondered how this was done?
http://www.chibardun.net/~jfox3/sib2.gif

Anyway..........Somewhere over the rainbow on a bugle?

Don't know about that, but this is the original CLICK HERE (http://www.mirc-colors.com/overrainbow.html)

http://www.angelfire.com/stars2/judygarland/dorothyDA_small.gif

Oh, and whilst we are still on board......how about a bit of stellar travel.......

[Boris]

Firstly....

Its been a hard shift. Boris had it on her tonight.


oii !!!

And I think I have been 'cut down' a little in certain quaters !:shocked:


:xyxwave:

[Amy]

Afternoon Boris :xyxwave:

[Boris]

Second ......


Ahoy!" - This old traditional greeting for hailing other vessels was originally a Viking battle cry.

Ahoy is also the Czech greeting meaning 'hi' or 'helo'.

:xyxwave:

[Kaz]

Afternoon, Boris. :wavey:

All present and correct - alert and on guard as always for your FIRST visit of the day. :laugh:

:xyxwave:

[Boris]

Hello Amy.

Alert as ever.

Navy VERY slow to rush to my protection tonight.

In desperate need to be saved ,
My Flag , it has waved and has waved,
Only Amy has seen it as yet,
Alerting our Kaz ...what a pet ( well I think she will !)

Attennnnnnnnnshun:xyxwave:

[BigSister]

im here now Boris:thumbs:

[Boris]

[quote]alert and on guard as always for your FIRST visit of the day. [quote]


Absolutely right Captain....my very first visit of the day....that was . I see Amy Alerted you before I was able to comment on it.

Attennnnnnnnnnnntion :xyxwave:

[Boris]

well Done Big sister !

i've said it before , a chap needs ALL th sisters he can get at a time like this.


Stand easy now...almost time for a little
R+R...YEAY !






:xyxwave:

[Amy]

I think our Captain has left the boards so i will step in and stop you being the last post Boris :thumbs:

[Kaz]

Good work, Sergeant Amy! My faith in your abilities is being well rewarded. :thumbs:

And well done our rookie Lance Corporal BigSister. With support like this, there's no way that my mission can fail.

Carry on, everyone. :xyxwave:

[Sticks]

BTW here is an even better link for the Rainbow song, so you can down load it :thumbs:

Somewhere over the rainbow (http://www.mirc-colors.com/overrainbow.wav)

While we are on this nautical theme, My father was once given a guided tour around Ark Royal

http://www.royal-navy.mod.uk/rn/data/gallery/medium/1043408071m.jpg


I am also reminded of my brief time aboard HMS Illustrious

http://www.royal-navy.mod.uk/rn/data/gallery/medium/1016453316m.jpg

I even have the shirt to prove it (See attached)

[splodge0]

The Admiralty are duly impressed, sticks. Fleet Air Arms seem to be an appropriate placement for you! I will make representations on your behalf.

I am also impressed that my pager has been logging a veritable snowstorm of posts in the last couple of hours. I have NO doubt that the thread will survive longer than any other, as time will prove.

Boris, I am so glad you pointed out the failings of some posts longevity. It has demonstrated how resilient TiBB is!!

TRULY EXCELLENT ONE AND ALL!!:colour:

:colour::colour::colour:
:colour::colour:
:colour:

[Boris]

Glad to see the Navy's always ready,
To keep a chap from sinking when 'at sea',
Thank you Admiral Splodge for your endevours,
I'm glad the 'chap' you saved was 'little me !

attennnnnnnnnnnnnnntion :xyxwave:

[splodge0]

And still am!!!!:colour:

[Boris]

AND..............

Thank you RSM Rob,

Wing Commander Sticks

And Admiral Splodge


For your 'joint' and separate, RAINBOW input !

Shame aboout the 'crock of gold Captain Kaz but the piccy and song were both loverly !!!

Stand Easy now...you've all done very well !


:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

You're welcome!!:colour:

[Boris]

:dazzler: GOODY ! dazzler:

[splodge0]

LOL!!!!!!:colour:

[Boris]

Out To Sea again now,

Keep you posted (U2U / Ship to shore, if you like...... maybe later ?):wavey:

:xyxwave:

[Kaz]

AAARRRGGGHHHH! :shocked: :shocked: :shocked:

Just as well I dropped by, Boris!!! :thumbs:

What happened troops? Full investigation now under way . . . . . :nono:

Must be ever-vigilant!! :xyxwave:

[splodge0]

"SUCH A SENSE OF RELIEF!!!!!

I'm getting a warm glow.............

Hope you are all here tooX X X X X X

And I AM watching you Boris!! "

http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=26843

:colour:

[Kaz]

Well, it seems that everyone is so excited by all the BB news today that I've been left here to guard this thread all on my own :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:

Mass desertion by my previously faithful troops. :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:

But wait! This means that I WILL be able to achieve my mission of being the last to post on this thread! :hello:

Sorted! :thumbs:

[splodge0]

Wrong. lol

[rachb]

Don't worry Captain Kaz,you are not on your own:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
ready for my night shift:sleep::sleep::sleep:

[Amy]

To Captain Kaz,
I'd like to hand my notice in as Sergeant on this thread :bawling: Due to duties of a BB4 kind i am off, as of the 23rd of May, to guard a T.V programme and reply in other parts of this forum. I have also got to make sure a certain Mr O Leary is doing OK on channel 4 every evening :love:
I have protected the thread to the best of my ability and have saved Boris on many occasions, which i will continue to do till the 23rd of may.
I will, however, be free from my duties after bb4 and if there is an available position on this thread i would be happy to come to your aid again
thank you Sergeant Amy
:laugh:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Right Amy, left to the old timers to hold the fort then is it?

I'm still here as OH is at a local polling station helping the populace to exercise their right to vote................:xyxwave:

[rachb]

:conf::conf::conf:hmmmm I think Seargent Amy is distracted by a certain Mr O'leary aswell!!
:nono::nono::nono::nono::nono:
Can we have special leave to watch bb Captain Kaz???:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Kaz]

Sergeant Amy - I am saddened to receive your resignation after such a short time in your new post. However, it is with great reluctance that I accept it and release you from your duties as from 23rd May 2003.

Thank you for your loyal support up until this time, and I'm sure you will be welcomed back to full duties after your 'dalliance' with Mr O'Leary has ended.

Sergeant Rachb - in answer to your question . . . . . . . if Boris takes leave from this thread to watch BB4, then so can the rest of us!!!

What about it Boris? It's in your hands!

:xyxwave:

[Amy]

Originally posted by Romantic Old Bird
Right Amy, left to the old timers to hold the fort then is it?

I'm still here as OH is at a local polling station helping the populace to exercise their right to vote................:xyxwave:

I'm still here till 23rd may :xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Do you think this will still be going.........???:shocked:

[James]

Originally posted by Romantic Old Bird
I'm still here as OH is at a local polling station helping the populace to exercise their right to vote................

Oh that's right, Scottish Parliamentary elections are up here. I kinda forgot all about those. :blush: :shocked:

I've got until 10 pm to vote. Question is, do I exercise my democratic rights or stay in and watch I'm a Celeb... ? Which should it be - reality TV or voting? :laugh:

If it was Big brother I know which one I'd choose. :laugh:

:hugesmile:

[Mark]

Can you not kill two birds with one stone and vote on the internet?

- Mark :wavey:

[splodge0]

Its ok Kaz and all. No-one need resign. My snorkle is in good working order, and Boris WILL NEVER be the last to post on this thread! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

:colour::colour::colour::colour::colour::colour::c olour::colour::colour::colour::colour::colour::col our::colour::colour::colour::colour:

[James]

I didn't know that it was possible to vote on the Internet. Can you?

[splodge0]

Not in my area thank heaven. But I do have to use postal voting! Its a Blair trial!!:joker:

[Boris]

Its ok Kaz and all. No-one need resign. My snorkle is in good working order, and Boris WILL NEVER be the last to post on this thread!


My Hero !
:love:


I need some loyalty after all this talk of 'DESERTING' on May 23rd...am looking forward to that tho'

:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

.

[Amy]

Sorry Boris but my mission will be focused else where :xyxwave: But after BB I WILL BE BACK on this thread :laugh: If it's still going :bouncy:

[Boris]

It's OK Sergeant Amy , I do nderstand. I know my possition in the 'pecking' order...BB4 comes 'way ahead'.

As long as uou are here we will value your support,

:xyxwave:


By the way ,do you think the good Admiral has lost his voice? There is nothing in the BOX above you !:shocked:

[splodge0]

.

[Amy]

I think he's deserted you :shocked:

[splodge0]

(fullstop)

[Romantic Old Bird]

Well folks, RSM Rob is signing off and leaving you till morning.

Be watchful, be alert, because, as the old saying goes, we need more lerts..........

See you in the morning.........

[James]

Originally posted by splodge0
.

I think I can go one better than that...

;

[Boris]

You're not looking your best tonight RSM Rob !

Anything we can do to help ?:shocked:

[Amy]

Night RSM Rob :sleep::sleep::sleep:

[Sticks]

Heads up guys !

Intelligence seem to indicate that dark forces have got hold of some spare wmd's

It is a tricky one and if we want to avoid this

http://images.encarta.msn.com/xrefmedia/sharemed/targets/images/pho/t046/T046022A.jpg

I looks like another 1000 bomber raid. :shocked:

Keep alert

It looks like it is going to be bad

Don't forget, "Duck and Cover" :shocked:

[Boris]

Been eating Sprouts agin Sticks ?
:shocked:

[Amy]

:laugh:

[splodge0]

.

[Sticks]

has Splodge 0 gone dotty ? :laugh:

[splodge0]

totally

[Boris]

Not 'Gone' fear he always was a little :shocked:

...............................
.............................,.
....................................
........................................
...............................................
.................................................. ......

( think he is competeing with Kaz to be 'last poster !)
:xyxwave::shocked:

[rachb]

signing in for the night now Boris you can sleep safely:sleep::sleep::sleep::xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxw ave::xyxwave:
splodge i found this and thought you would like it
http://www.regalweb.co.uk/loony/animated/train.gif

[splodge0]

LOVE it!!

Ta!!:colour::colour::colour::colour::colour::colou r:

[Kaz]

Posted by Boris
( think he is competing with Kaz to be 'last poster !)
Some may try
But all will fail
To make the last post
I WILL prevail :thumbs:

Thank you, day shift, for your unstinting support. :love:

Night shift at the ready?

:xyxwave:

[rachb]

Ready Captain Kaz!!!:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs::thumbs::xyxwave::xy xwave::xyxwave::xyxwave::spin::spin::spin::spin::s pin:

[blinkinlovely]

I still do not understand
this thread!!!!!!!!

[Kaz]

That's the beauty of it, Blinkinlovely - you don't have to!!! :laugh: :spin2: :laugh:

Just join in when you feel like it! :thumbs:

My mission, which I chose to undertake, is to ensure that Boris is not the last to post on this thread . . . . . I WILL be . . . . .

. . . . . but somehow, someone always comes along and thwarts my destiny. :spin2:

:xyxwave:

[rachb]

We are just trying to help you Kaz!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::l augh::laugh::laugh:

[Boris]

. . but somehow, someone always comes along and thwarts my destiny.

Poor Kaz's mission is FRUSTRATING,
Now think these words are understating,
What she goes through every day,
When we all get in her way,
Think she will get there in the end...
BECAUSE....
This thread will send us ...

ROUND

THE

BEND !


:joker::joker::joker::joker:


Morning Troops , glad to see you all at the ready.....ish:blush:

Stand by your beds , inspection time.....


AND THAT MEANS YOU SONNY !


Attennnnnnnntion :xyxwave:

[rachb]

:dance::dance::dance:
:dance::dance::dance::dance:
:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:
Morning Boris:wavey::wavey:

[Kaz]

Well done, Sergeant Rachb! :thumbs:

Morning, Boris. Thank you again for your kind words of support. :wavey:

Don't know about going round the bend - not just yet anyway - but this mission sure is proving more of a challenge than I first anticipated.

I WILL succeed, though. And I am unanimous in that. :spin2:

Attention, troops - vigilance is all-important.

:xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

As I was just remarking to Comrade Boris, this is as daft as our virtual missions to ravish Paul Clarke. I love it! Pity Mr Clarke isn't involved but there you go.


Morning all!

Chocks away!
http://members.lycos.co.uk/Biggles266/goggles.gif

[BusyBee]

The burning question of the year -

Just who will be the last to post on this thread?

Do you think we will make the Guinness Book of Records:hello:

[LEE]

We could do Busy Bee, we may even end up on the same page as the Worlds Tallest Sugar Cube Tower. :thumbs:

[Kaz]

Posted by BusyBee
Just who will be the last to post on this thread?
By hook or by crook
I'll succeed in my mission
The last post on this thread
Is my destined position

Memories will fade in time
And forget just what it was
That made me strive so very hard
To have the last post here from Kaz

:xyxwave:

[Sticks]

Kaz if you are so desparate to be the last to post, then post and lock the thread.

Simplicity itself, and we can then go and concentrate on other threads, which I fear are being sadly neglected in favour of this one. :bawling:

[Kaz]

Other threads being sadly neglected? :conf:

I don't think so, Sticks. The forum has been a veritable hive of activity over the last few days. And so far today, posts have been made in another 15 topics!

Maybe I WILL get the last post by locking the thread as you suggest, but until then . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .let's just have some FUN :colour:

:xyxwave:

[Boris]

Simplicity itself, and we can then go and concentrate on other threads, which I fear are being sadly neglected in favour of this one.

Sticks have you comsidered that 'folks' post on threads that interest and entertain them ?

Kaz says that other Threads are still attracting comment, so THATS OK!:spin2:

Smile you're on

'The Kiss of Death'

and that IS fun...honest:love:

:xyxwave:

[Kaz]

Afternoon, Boris! :wavey:

Couldn't have said it better myself. :thumbs:

It's my mission and I'll have fun if I want to!!! :spin2: :colour: :spin2:

[splodge0]

.:laugh::colour:

[Boris]

AND....(sorry Sticks)




By hook or by crook,
We'll help you succeed,
Just tell us all,
What you really need......
By way of support........
But have you really thought,
What the end of the line,
Might mean ....in time ?:bawling:

Cpatain Kaz we can't do it without you


Attennnnnnnnnnnnntion:xyxwave:

[Sticks]

Just repeating what the Secretary of Defence Mark stated right at the beginning.

BTW what happened to him ?

[Boris]

BTW what happened to him ?

He resigned :laugh:



Nice to see the Navy's in !

Press Gang been in operation Admiral Splodge?
Attennnnnnnnntion
:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Rsppppppppppppppp :laugh:

:colour::colour:
:colour:

[Kaz]

Afternoon, Admiral. :dance:

Did you take the slow boat from China today? :laugh:

On second thoughts . . . . don't answer that! Then my post will be last!

:spin:

[Boris]

Rsppppppppppppppp


That would explain this new language.


CHINESE
you think Kaz :xyxwave:

[splodge0]

I DO have other duties you know! Eating, breathing, nature calls. You know, life's little luxuries.................:spin2::colour:

[splodge0]

beat you again Boris!:laugh::colour:

[Boris]

Are we in a race good Admiral ??

:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Noooooo! That would be silly on such an important mission as this!:laugh:

Wouldn't it................???:laugh::colour:

[BigSister]

im here now Boris:thumbs:

Ready for the weekend:hugesmile:

:elephant::elephant::elephant::elephant:

[Boris]

Jooly Good Show Big sister....glad to see some of the Troops are available for the Bank Hols...Bit wet though for outdoor manouevers !

:xyxwave:

[Maggie]

Oooooooo I like the sound of that :spin2:

[Boris]

Oooooooo I like the sound of that


Naughty girl !:shocked:


BUT yes ....SO DO I, don't tell the Captain, though she might not approve being SO set on her mission and all !

:spin2:

:xyxwave:

[Amy]

Evening all :xyxwave:

[Mairi]

Hello, Amy. Nice to see you again.

I see you're still keeping a watchful eye on this thread. :thumbs:

[Amy]

Hi Mairi :xyxwave:
Still got to make sure Boris is safe and NEVER last post till 23rd may then Dermot will get my watchful eye :love: :laugh:

[Mairi]

I can't say I blame you, Amy. Dermot is very watchable. :love:

[Boris]

Just popped in to checkon the 'night shift'.

All at you r posts are you ? ? ?


Hmmmm....think maybe some of you are negelcting your duty:shocked:

By the left now ....HUP, HUP, HUP,

HALT.

About turn


Attennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnshun:xyxwave:

[rachb]

evening Boris:xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[Boris]

Evening Sergeant Rach

glad to see you here ,I thought my back was undefended - WHEW !


You will soon be moving up the ranks and leaving your former sergeant collegue behind:xyxwave:

[rachb]

:xyxwave::xyxwave::spin::spin:at your service Boris:xyxwave::xyxwave::spin::spin:

[Kaz]

Evening, Boris. :xyxwave:

Yes, you're right - Sergeant Rachb's devotion to duty is not going unnoticed.

It is a bit wet for outdoor manoeuvres just now . . . . never mind, we'll just have to do some marching on the spot to keep us fit and alert for every eventuality.

By the left, everyone . . . . . :dance: :dance: :dance:

[Amy]

Originally posted by Boris
You will soon be moving up the ranks and leaving your former sergeant collegue behind:xyxwave:

:shocked: NEVER!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[rachb]

Horrible weather!!!
http://sscorer.co.uk/Gifs/Rain.gif

[Boris]

Captain Kaz I know I am safe when yu are around:love:

Captain Kaz will do her best ,
To keep me safe ,
So I can rest !:xyxwave:

[Amy]

Saved you :spin2:

[Boris]

WHEW !! !! :laugh:

[Amy]

And again :spin2:

[Boris]

SORRY folks I've got to do it for no...700


That was it !:dazzler::dazzler:

All forms of congratulations welcome !:spin2:

[Amy]

Well done :hello:

[rachb]

well done Boris!!!
http://sscorer.co.uk/Gifs/fireworks.gif

[BigSister]

Im leaving the night shift now
Night all:sleep:

:elephant::elephant::elephant::elephant:

[splodge0]

Originally posted by Boris
SORRY folks I've got to do it for no...700


That was it !:dazzler::dazzler:

All forms of congratulations especially MONEY welcome !:spin2:

LOL Money indeed!

[Kaz]

Bye, Lance Corporal Bigsister - many thanks for your assistance. :thumbs:

Boris . . . . what can I say? :hello: :elephant: :hello: :elephant: :hello:

You'll be joining the 1,000 Club in no time at this rate - I'm well impressed! :thumbs:

Don't know if this will work, but (fingers crossed!) CLICK HERE (http://sscorer.co.uk/midis/congrats.mid) for my message to you.

Night shift all present and correct?

:xyxwave:

[Sticks]

Back on the morning duty

Yesterday I had a very deep filling done at the dentist, and did not feel that too well. The flight station medic adviced I go to bed really early so I had to let the lads go out alone.

However when I got up it seems our transatlantic cousins are taking over :shocked:

Especially when I saw this in the hanger

http://www.keme.net/~colin/images/duxford/s01_02_36a.jpg

I suspect we may be pulled out of this mission to hunt for the wmds

will keep you posted

[Boris]

All forms of congratulations especially MONEY welcome !


LOL Admiral ...TOO right !:laugh:


And here is no.701


The morning has broken,
And all's well at sea,(I hope)
Just checking in on the Troops now,
But WHO will post after me?



Also Sorry to hear about your ailment Wing Commander. Hope the repair job was satisfactory :love:


:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

You need to get yourself properly organised if you're begging. Take notes on the Tube!!! LOL:colour:

[kaphc]

Steady Boris! At the moment you are the last poster on this thread with all this counting!!

We can't have that can we?? :xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Good afternoon everyone.

Glad to see everything is going along swimmingly................:wavey:

[Kaz]

Afternoon, all. :wavey:

Wing Commander's had a filling
The Admiral is all at sea
LEE is still galavanting
So that only leaves me . . .

With help from faithful Amy
And dependable Rachb
We'll keep a watch for Boris
Oh yes we will, you'll see!

All assistance warmly welcomed
from Big Sister, ROB and Kaphc
But in the end you just know
What the outcome of this will be!!

Carry on, everyone!

:dance:

[splodge0]

lol

[BigSister]

Im here now:hugesmile:

:elephant::elephant::elephant::elephant:

[Boris]

I got a little whisper ,
that the 'Troops' were getting less,
So thought I'd just look in ,
And on you all impress,
Just why it is important,
To stay right ON the 'job',
To never let me be that last,
And that includes our Rob !...

(Sorry Rob but I couldn't find another word to Rhyme !)

Stnd easy there all you loyal supporters ..this quiet Sat afternnon...but not for long....................

Ateennnnnnnnshun :xyxwave:

[splodge0]

TRUE!!:laugh::colour::colour::colour:

[Boris]

Am I making too much noise again Admiral SPlodge...I do rather tend to :blush:

I'll TRY to do better in future


And Kaz ....Just been cheking back to see if I'd missd anything and found a little serenade....It took me back to my youth !
Almost forgot to say thank you...sorry I liked old Cliff way back when !


But don't forget now.....
Attentionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Don't let your mind wander :xyxwave:

[Amy]

Nice to see you back on here Boris :xyxwave:

[splodge0]

If you like music try this http://www.pigbrother.co.uk/FLASH/index.html :colour:

[Boris]

Thanks Amy...glad to see you are still with us...Poor rachb says she WILL NOT be promoted without you!

How's that for friendship then:spin2:


And ...errr.. the Admiral's gone all quiet again.


. for you admiral, then we will be speaking the same language !:wavey:

[Kaz]

Hi Boris. :wavey:

Glad you found my little 'ditty' for you. I remember Cliff Richard singing it for Eurovision wearing his frilly shirt too! :blush:

Full complement of day shift troops on duty at the moment - you should be absolutely safe.

We salute you! :xyxwave:

[Amy]

Bless Rach :spin2: We are a duo in our saving boris duties :thumbs:

[Boris]

Fantastic ... liked your Poem too.

Very Funny !

look forward to the next:wavey:

[Kaz]

All part of the service, Boris. :thumbs:

:dance:

[rachb]

hello:wavey::wavey:boris here again:xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[BigSister]

im here too :hugesmile:

:elephant::elephant::elephant::elephant:

[splodge0]

Kaz, is this the longest thread yet, and if not which one is, please.:colour::colour:

[Kaz]

It is indeed the longest thread now, Splodge. :hello:

I know the length can vary depending on the settings and size of your PC monitor, but currently on my PC this thread is on page 39. The closest one to it is the 'BB Quiz' thread which is on page 29.

However . . . . . . I know of a thread on another forum which started in July last year and is now on page 660!!!!! :shocked:

We've only just begun . . . . . . . . . . :spin2:

:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

And that is..........................??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please! Kaz! Don't be cruel...........:bawling:

[Boris]

PC monitor, but currently on my PC this thread is on page 39.


It's page 48 on my PC.


Perhaps I'll get into the Guiness book of records.......I always wanted to get my name in print,

or lights


or.....noo, that's enough


Put the good Admiral out of his misery Kaz,Do .


BTW Admiral just checked out your music link.....Is it roast pork for dinner tonight ??LOL


:xyxwave:

[rachb]

Its on page 29 on mine,that just shows you how much we all want to help Captain Kaz save Boris!!!
we'll carry on until the mission is complete:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::xyxwav e::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[Amy]

Saved AGAIN Boris :thumbs:

It's also on page 48 on my pc too :xyxwave:

[rachb]

Got there just before you Amy:thumbs:
what a team!!!:laugh::laugh:

[Kaz]

Sorry, classified information I'm afraid. :laugh:

The Official Secrets Act forbids me from revealing my source. :spin:

Page 48, Boris - excellent! It just shows the determination and dedication of the Barmy TiBB Army to make sure you never give this thread the 'Kiss of Death'.

I'm very proud of you all. :xyxwave:

[Amy]

Originally posted by rachb
Got there just before you Amy:thumbs:
what a team!!!:laugh::laugh:

As Captain Kaz says we are the barmy TIBB army :laugh:

[Boris]

MAD,quite MAD..the lot of us !
bit fun too.....:joker:


:xyxwave:

now 49 BTW

[Amy]

We are very MAD :xyxwave: but you WON'T be last post :thumbs:

[Sticks]

Originally posted by Boris
[BTW Admiral just checked out your music link.....Is it roast pork for dinner tonight ??LOL


Actually yes it is, at my base of opperations anyway.:hugesmile:

I put the joint in just before 16:00 hrs so it is ready before the lads go on overnight arial patrols.

I may be stuck at base, but it does not mean I am not pitching in on the war effort.

:thumbs:

Meanwhile here are some clips of the lads in action on air support.

A GR7 Harrier on take off (502 kb) (http://www.raf.mod.uk/equipment/videos/harriergr7takeoff.mpg)

A GR7 Harrier landing after a sorte (957 kb) (http://www.raf.mod.uk/equipment/videos/harriergr7land.mpg)

A GR7 Harrier on a bombing run (460 kb) (http://www.raf.mod.uk/equipment/videos/harrierrange.mpg)

Harrier GR7s running in dropping flares ( 202 kB) (http://www.raf.mod.uk/equipment/videos/harrierflares.mpg)

[steve_o]

Baaaaaaa... Maaaaaaaaaaaaad... :thumbs:

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/sheep.gif

[Boris]

Baaaaaaa... Maaaaaaaaaaaaad...


Oh Lamb for you steve.

ENJOY !

However.......

Wing Commander's had a filling,
The Admiral's all at sea,
I'm sitting in a 'row' boat,
Tht's all that's left for me,
I found some old ship's Biscuits,
I ate on rather fast,
The feeling that it gave me,:shocked:
OOOOOOOOH, I hope that it won't last.....
We'd better warn the Trpoops now,What's going around the crew,
It seems to pass from MOUSE to MOUSE,
I hope it won't get YOU !!!!!


:shocked::conf::shocked::conf::shocked::conf:
What a way to end a nice Saturday !:bawling::bawling:

[rachb]

:xyxwave::xyxwave:evening Boris:xyxwave::xyxwave::xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Admiralty doesn't eat fish any more............:colour:

[Kaz]

Night shift reporting in for duty! :wavey:

We may be slightly kooky
We may be a wee bit loopy
We're probably all completely barking mad
But one thing I can say
Is that, as we post away
A good time is definitely being had :spin2:

:dance:

[splodge0]

Originally posted by Kaz
Night shift reporting in for duty! :wavey:

We may be slightly kooky
We may be a wee bit loopy
We're probably all completely barking mad
But one thing I can say
Is that, as we post away
A good time is definitely being had
Cos we are all a bit sad LOL :spin2:

:dance:

Well REALLY Kaz!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Kaz]

Tut, tut, Admiral. :nono:

I do believe you added in that last line yourself . . . . . . . . :laugh:

Tampering with my 'pomes' is not allowed! :shocked:

[splodge0]

Couldn't resist!!! <titter> LOL

[Boris]

Cos we are all a bit sad LOL

Who said so ?

send them to me, I'll keep them in after school !
:shocked:


Evening all, hope you are well.


Keep off the ships biscuits tho':shocked:

:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Down to a minute again :laugh:

Must get down to within the min:laugh:

:colour:

[Kaz]

Well said, Boris.

Any more insubordination from the Admiral and arrangements could well be made to have him keel-hauled.

I have friends in high places, you know. :laugh:

[Boris]

.


Can't follow that really can you :spin:

But fast :spin2:

[splodge0]

Awwwww Not again. I've only just dried out from last time:bawling::bawling:

[splodge0]

Eh?:conf:

[Boris]

Is it those thick , whilte 'sea boots' socks that you have trouble with ?

They DO take some drying out:shocked:

[splodge0]

Nah. I keep dragging in the weed.............

[Boris]

Eh?

Well if you will keep changing things !

First you were a 'full stop' then you had changed and ALL in the blinking of an eye !
I just Can't KEEP UP !:laugh:

[Boris]

Just to keep you informed...I'm now on Page 50!

GO GO GO

:dance::hello::dance::hello:
:dance::hello::dance::hello:

[splodge0]

Just call me "Rastus".......................

[Boris]

OK...Rastus...if that's what you want:hugesmile:


I aim to please...and NO, we don't want that joke again !:spin:

[Kaz]

Yay! :hello:

We have got to be quick
When Boris is here
But we'll rise to the challenge
She need never fear

To her rescue we'll come
For as long as she needs
We'll be faithful and true
And carry on our good deeds

:dance:

[splodge0]

Originally posted by Kaz
Yay! :hello:

We have got to be quick
When Boris is here
But we'll rise to the challenge
She need never fear

To her rescue we'll come
For as long as she needs
We'll be faithful and true
And carry on dragging in the weeds

:dance:


Or something like that...................

[Kaz]

:devil:

:devil:

:devil:

:nono:

[Sticks]

All Borris needs to do, to avoid being the last poster to kill off this thread, What Borris raised, right at the first post, is to reframe from posting here.

Then the thread can be allowed to pass into history, and we get back to expending more creative energy on the other threads.

Is this to much of a reductionist or minimalist observation ? :conf:

[Boris]

It's getting so much harder ,
To keep saying things in rhyme,
Our kaz is 'Oh so quick'
And I must answer her each time.
Her mission is to stop me
From doing the last post,
D da da da da da da da ,
Da da da da da Most.....

( well if you can do it for Kaz you can do it for me..... just fill the gaps):laugh:

[splodge0]

But I don't want to be the one to "kill" our poor little thread.

Too cruel:nono:

So I won't risk being the last to post.........:bawling:

[steve_o]

To kill off this thread all you have to do is not post here, dam I've cocked up now by posting. :laugh: Here's a smilie for Sticks.

My last post on this thread, it has to go sometime:bawling:

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/cockpit.gif

[Boris]

All Borris needs to do, to avoid being the last poster to kill off this thread,


Oh dear Sticks....you just havn't got into the spirit of the thing have you.....

Just ignore us then it won't HURT so much :love:

[Kaz]

Posted by Sticks
Is this too much of a reductionist or minimalist observation ?
Yes!!!

And it's no FUN either! :spin2:

Lighten up, Wing Commander . . . . life's too short . . . . . :spin:

[splodge0]

Quick!

[steve_o]

How about killing it off at a 1000 reply's :thumbs: with a joint end to hostilities. :thumbs: It can't go on forever:bawling: There comes a time blar, blar, blar, when all good things must come to an end. Surely everything must have been said and done by now. I mean there's people posting at 5.00 am :laugh: Barrrrrrrrrrrr... Madddddddddddd... :thumbs:

:spin:

[Boris]

I mean there's people posting at 5.00 am

That's because they WANT to steve !:xyxwave:

[splodge0]

Message from Boris

"Bugger" I only quote you understand.........

[steve_o]

Opps... should have been my last one 3 posts ago. It is now though, it's been a good thread for me. Lots of happy memories hitting the thousand. Oh... Happy Day's. a mixture of sadness and elation in one. :bawling::laugh:

:spin:

[Boris]

Message from the Admiral Steve0...
" he's left me to it !"


:bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:

Who will save me now !

[Kaz]

Because this is MY mission
Dear Boris, don't you see
The person who will save you
WILL always be little ME!

:love: